How did this happen?
by Tangerine3710
Summary: Romantic story between Lazlo and Edward ;) 'Dave looked way too proud of himself, how the hell was Edward supposed to go home now. His car was kind of parked far away, he didn't want to walk neither and was still kind of drunk. He looked back at the crowd starting to split up and disappear, saw some girl with… that's Lazlo right'
1. Reunion party

-Well, I have to go home now …

-And I'm NOT giving you your keys back!

-I know! Wasn't supposed to drink tonight

-But you have to admit, it was worth it

Dave looked way too proud of himself, how the hell was Edward supposed to go home now. His car was kind of parked far away, he didn't want to walk all the way and was still kind of drunk. He looked back at the crowd starting to split up and disappear, saw some girl with… that's Lazlo right? She was writing her number in his palm, ''why is he so popular'' Dave said out loud,

-My thoughts exactly

-Hey …we should do something with him, like a drinking contest, only the weirdest people are still here, maybe, if we get enough people wasted Samson will let us sleep here, and if Lazlo stays, the girls will stay too …

He then devilishly laughed at his own plan, Edward didn't think it was a good idea but, apparently, he was already a part of it '' HEY! LAZLO'' Dave yelled across the garden

He turned around and saw them in the distance, Dave was making large movements with his hands so he could see them, it was quite dark.

-Hey!

He was now near them, and as expected, Edward spotted at least two girls watching Lazlo from a distance, looking if he was leaving or not.

-Are you leaving already? The party just started!

-Ah no I was just saying good bye to some people and…

-Alright! Let's go back Pingpong told me they were going to do some contests inside!

Lazlo giggled and looked at Edward

-Sounds fun

They went back inside and gathered a couple of people to go with them, lots of girls … Edward didn't care that much, he was kind of tired but, the show must go on. As they were setting some things up, he was left in the kitchen. He then started doing some of the dishes, trying to save some work for Samson the day after. Not a lot of people tried to clean up before leaving,

-That's nice of you

Lazlo was next to him, picked a cloth and helped him out

-You know Dave is using you right?

-Yeah …I don't mind

Lazlo than smiled and looked at him again … 'he's kind of cute' Edward thought

-How many numbers did you get I'm curious

-Five

-really!?

-Yeah, is that impressive?

Lazlo just laugh it off he looked a bit embarrassed but overall happy.

-I'm glad I got to talk to you a bit, I …

Edward accidently broke one of the glasses

-shit ..

-Good thing you still have your shoes on though, I'll go get the broom

Lazlo left and came back shortly after, Edward had already picked a couple of the big pieces and discarded them

-Hey don't break everything you two

Dave told them in the other room

-Anyway come here everything is ready

They all sat around a table in the basement, Samson told them they could stay there as late as they wanted, they cleaned up the place a bit, in case everyone was too wasted to make place to sleep later and basically started a series of drinking games. There were a lot of squirrel scouts left which was surprising. Most of the boys had left, Chip and Skip were there, Dave and Ping Pong, Edward, Lazlo and Samson. With the girls there was, Patsy, Nina Almandine and 6 other girls who they didn't really know. But as Dave puts it, they're cute so who cares. They got to a point where the dares started …

-If you can finish THIS drink, then you can kiss whoever you want here!

It was established earlier in the games that everyone was single so it quickly became a matching game. The drink in question looked horrible, black and blue somehow, cheap fruit liquors mixed together in a big glass, not that big but disgusting nevertheless. Patsy started the game, obviously … Always trying to get Lazlo alone, all the guys saw that coming, and even though she drank like crazy it didn't seem to affect her that much, which was a sign of an easy victory for her but Dave stepped in

-Good idea! And it should be a one on one fight!

-Yeah! I'll play against Lazlo!

-No it'll be Edward, because clearly Lazlo will be your prize!

Dave said, way too proudly. Lazlo was laughing, clearly had too much to drink but he seemed okay about it, not too much of a winner on this one though, chances were slim. You could hear Chip and Skip opening bets in the back ground, anyone would bet on Patsy but since she was already kind of drunk, Edward actually had chances. They made a second big glass of whatever that was and Dave established rules. They had to finish it in one go, which means that if the glass goes down even once they lose, If they win they kiss whoever they want, or chose someone for the loser to kiss, and

-They have to be of the same gender

All the guys went crazy encouraging Edward and trying to influence his choice for Patsy's kiss. Lazlo looked embarrassed said a quiet ''I'm sorry'' to Pasty who gave a death stare at Dave for pulling this one off, Chip then said in the background

-Come on we know you just want to kiss Lazlo smooch!

They all laughed and made jokes about how Edward should save Lazlo and pick Nina for the kiss. Someone then asked, if you lose what happens?

-Nothing happens, I think people are already hyped

Edward and Patsy were staring at each other, Edward had all the guys on his side and Patsy had encouragement on hers. '' What is that stupid grin, you didn't win yet!''

-I just think your frustration speaks for itself

And he let go of a small evil laugh. They all gathered around, some took out there phones to film, wouldn't miss that right? Edward looked at his glass, the drinks were made by the girls and he had the feeling his was stronger, but he could take it, if it was Lazlo though he probably wouldn't have been able to, he doesn't look like he can drink that much compared to Edward, 'thank you college years'

3

2

1

Go!

They both started at the same time, it tasted awful, and mostly vodka apparently, mixed with… whiskey? It burned when going down his throat, didn't stop though. They were drinking it at the same speed, Edward heard people react around him, Patsy's glass momentarily shifted, but she kept it up … FINISHED … it's a draw.

-Edward finished first!

-Patsy's glass went down!

-Edward wasn't drunk enough!

-Sore loser!

Dave interrupted them

-I'll be the judge of that … They both win! Now make your picks!

Patsy started whispering with Nina and some of the girls, she was now very drunk, AND irritated and declared

-Okay, I'll kiss Nina! (Guy's cheers in the back ground) But you'll have to kiss Lazlo …Like this!

She then took Nina by the collar (who looked prepared for it) and French kissed her intensively, all the guys were cheering, Edward briefly took a second to look at Lazlo who just did a small nod, as to say okay, he didn't seemed bothered by it. Edward then waited for the girls to finish and gave Patsy a dirty grin. He then turned around to Lazlo who pulled a chair next to him and kissed him, open mouth all the way, all the girls screamed, they heard camera flashes even the guys cheered in a '' yeah show them'' manner. When they finished, Edward turned to Patsy who looked horrified. Edward drunkenly put his elbow on the table to rest his face on his hand and said ''want to get sick together now?'' Patsy looked at him and smiled

-Edward, I hate you

They both laughed, the drinks were kicking in for both of them. Dave helped Edward back up, Patsy went with two of her girls to the bathroom her face was pale and she didn't look well. Edward had trouble standing up. It was officially the end of the night.

Lazlo had a hand on his face, looking exasperated (why do these things keep happening) some of the guys were joking around telling him ''Sorry Lazlo, we couldn't save you in the end!'' with fake crying. He saw Dave leave with Edward and followed them. They stayed in a room on the side, which looked like a small living room. There was a couch and chairs, some people must a stayed there during most of the party. Cups laying around and coats and bags. Dave helped Edward lay down and place a bucket near him.

-I'll go get some water

Sais Lazlo, he was about to leave the room but Dave stopped him

-No I'll do it, stay with him for a while, there's something I need to do.

He then left, told Chip and Skip to stay around in case Edward got really sick and they had to take him out. So they were 4 in the room, no one seemed to care too much, Samson got in the room at some point, cleaned up a bit, Lazlo helped him and they talked for a while. Lazlo was sitting on a chair near the couch where was Edward, not next to him but on the adjacent wall. Samson talked about why he wanted the reunion party and how he was happy about it, and most people came, how he was surprised how he managed to find every one with the help of Dave and Pingpong'' I really felt like there was something different about camp and, the people there you know? Maybe I was just nostalgic''

It was late at night now, all the lights were closed most people were asleep. A shuffling sound woke Lazlo up, Edward was sitting down, both hands on his head, bend over, he didn't look well. He looked really hangover.

-you okay?

He turned around, Lazlo was half asleep, looking worried.

-I'm alright

Edward's voice was groggy, he then tried to get up, not to stable on his legs, Lazlo, who was feeling just fine, helped him out of the room.

-Where are you going?

-I need to get to my car

-Do you think you're going to drive like that … because I'm not letting you

-No..no Dave has my keys anyway, I … I don't need them, I just have to …. I need something in the truck …yeah right aha

-You're not really clear

They were now outside, Lazlo waved at some of the guys smoking outside, so someone would know they weren't dead on the side of the road or something

-Hey …..hey Lazlo

-What …

-You gonna call her?

-Who ..Patsy? I don't really like her …

-No the girl on your hand …

-What are you talking about… you're drunk

-The phone number on your hand

-oh …

He had completely forgotten about that

-You already forgot about it (he scoffed) guess that answers the question

Lazlo felt his cheeks get warmer, he felt kind of bad he'd forgotten about her …What was her name again?

-Anyway, it's not like you would call all five of them anyway right?

-no …indeed

-well …

-what is it

-I can't find it

-find what

-My car haha


	2. Walk it off

Lazlo looked at his phone, the batteries were dead, reached for Edward's phone, dead too.

-Yeah I wanted to get the charger

-You know someone probably had one back there

-oops

-This is not funny, I don't remember the way back

-Me neither …what should we do, sleep here?

-No …

Lazlo looked around, he recognise the street and knew where they were

-We can get to my place from here, can you walk for a while?

-Yeah, I can stand on my own now

Lazlo let go of his arm looked to see if it was true, he looked okay

Edward was following Lazlo now, sobering up. He felt bad he made him go outside in the middle of the night, probably made his night horrible. Lazlo looked irritated before when they got lost The cold air felt good though, probably why he wanted to go out in the first place, he just wanted to walk for a while. At first he simply though he would go sleep in his car to feel better… he's lucky Lazlo followed him

-Thanks

-about what

-not letting me go fall asleep in a bush outside of Samson's house

-ha! That's probably what would've happened, it's no problem…feeling better?

-Yeah …

-Were almost there, the sun is rising but, I think it would be better if you slept it off, you can stay if you want

-That's nice of you, thanks, again

-It's nothing

They were now in front of the door, Lazlo was fiddling with his keys to open the door.

-So … you live alone?

-Yeah …

-not creepy at all Edward good job

Lazlo laughed

-you're funny

-Sorry about the creepy kiss

-Thanks, sorry, thanks, sorry, sorry, what's with you haha

-well, you had all these cute girls around you, sucks to kiss the guy right?

-You're a good kisser though

Lazlo opened the door and looked at Edward, he's cheeks were red, looked embarrassed. He glanced away, scratched the back of his head, clearly flattered. Lazlo chuckled reached for his hand and lead him inside.


	3. One night stand

Edward closed the door behind him, Lazlo leaned to kiss him again, didn't go too fast in case Edward would push him away but he didn't. (you don't have to spell it out for me) Edward took the initiative, started to slide his hands under Lazlo's shirt and pushed him against the wall. It must have surprised him because he let out a small moan in the kiss, passed a hand in the other's hair not letting go of him. They made out for a short time and Lazlo grabbed Edward's arm and took him to the bedroom.

Edward let him lead the way, before he knew it they were on the bed, Lazlo on top of him, unbuttoning his shirt. He was getting nervous, felt a bit exposed. Lazlo kissed him again, this time Edward ran his hands on his body, felt he was tense too (I should do something so he would be more comfortable)

He switched it up and flipped Lazlo over so he would be on top, keeping their body close, he kept on kissing him and moving. He seemed to like kissing, maybe the proximity of it. He took Lazlo's pants off, he started to run his mouth on his neck, Lazlo, starting to have uneven breathing stopped him.

-wait …Edward do you …have condoms

Still half-drunk the first thing that came to Edward's mind was

-what ….you're not on the pill?!

Lazlo looked at him for a second, then smiled and started laughing. Edward, embarrassed about the terrible joke and said between the laughs and embarrassment ''no I don't''

-I have some in the drawer there, let me get them

Edward was feeling less tense and a bit more confident, he thought for a second that the joke would turn Lazlo off, but apparently not.

Lazlo took a box from the drawer and when he turned around Edward was posing on the bed, shirt open with a weird looking smile. Lazlo face palmed laughing, his face bright red

-What are you doing!

-What … having fun what else

Lazlo, still smiling, got closer to the bed Edward took the box from his hands and put on the side table and flipped him over again and started taking his shirt off

-I feel like you're still drunk and I'm taking advantage of you

Edward looked at him in the eyes with a raised eyebrow

-You can take advantage of me whenever you want!

Lazlo let go of an embarrassed laugh and looked away, Edward, caressed Lazlo's legs and body, he was more relaxed than before, (note to self, jokes are a good way of releasing tension in one night stands) Lazlo was in his boxers now, Edward thought to himself (I'm going for it) and put his hands under the other's clothes, on his erection then lower. Lazlo felt his cold hands on him and then almost instantly inside him, and let go of a quiet moan

-too fast?

-n..no it's okay

he started to thrust him with two fingers, not wasting any time, Lazlo's breathing was now heavier, his cheeks were really red, he heard Edward let out a small laugh. Taking Lazlo's hand he placed his mouth near his hear, his voice was low, confident and a bit shaky from excitement

-sorry random girl but Lazlo loves fingers in his ass

Lazlo smiled and felt shivers down his body, this was fun, Edward took his boxers off and he was getting really into it. Edward caressed his legs again taking a quick look at him. He had a hand over his mouth, removed it when he saw Edward was looking at him. He must have felt exposed because et reached for Edward's belt and pulled him closer, trying to lessen the distance between them, removed his pants slowly touching him through them. Edward pulled a couple of pillows behind Lazlo so he would be more comfortable.

-you're very attractive

It took Edward by surprise, he felt his heart skip a beat, and his body was getting warmer. This was hot, he wanted Lazlo really badly. He reached for the box next to them and put one of the condoms on, it was a bit tighter than what he's used to but it wasn't uncomfortable. Edward placed himself, so he could get a good look at Lazlo and started with a first slow thrust, trying not to hurt him. Lazlo had one of his hands on the others stomach and caressed him as he felt him deeper inside him. He let out a quiet moan ''you okay?'' asked Edward while slowly going back and forth, Lazlo a bit louder this time '' yes hmm, this feels good'' Edward then started to get to a more comfortable pace, Lazlo's breathing was now a lot heavier and his moans a little more high pitched than his normal voice. Edward smiled '' you like it that much?''. Lazlo was building up pleasure and didn't even care anymore he just said ''yes'' Edward then shifted him on the side and started to thrust faster and more aggressively and he loved what he saw. Lazlo was loving it, with the high pitched moans, and his expression changing to pure pleasure, (he looks really vulnerable right now) Edward though. Lazlo couldn't think clearly, Edward was hitting his sweet spot and he just didn't want it to stop, he let out '' yeah … haa …haa, fuck yeah…''

Edward leaned in to kiss him and Lazlo pulled him closer, almost desperately holding his head close to not break the kiss. Edward felt him tensing up, he was probably getting close. His mouth was so warm and wet … Lazlo then let go of him '' I'm ..haa getting really close''

-can you hm …mm, keep going afterwards

-yes

Lazlo then tensed and clung to Edward's shirt, moaning, he felt his legs getting weaker. This was so good, one of Edwards hands was stroking him, it felt warm, does he want him to cum in his hand? Well there was no stopping it now anyway. Edward felt the warm liquid in his hand and Lazlo body on his and instinctively slowed down and stopped for Lazlo to cum. He reached for tissues so stopped for a while. Lazlo noticed that '' woah …haha what are you doing'' Lazlo had pushed him over now on top of him placed to ride him '' didn't you want to keep going?''

-ha …yeah?

Edward sounded a bit nervous, that's not what he was picturing but he wasn't going to stop him. Lazlo then started going back and forth on him, the other moving his hips with him, it was a much slower pace than before but (it feels real nice) Edward just let him do him, he heard Lazlo let out a small chuckle and he looked up to his face. There was something so desirable about him, with his sexy smile and the way he looked at him. ''Lazlo I'm...I'm getting close'' Lazlo chuckled again '' I can see that'' he said in a playful way. Edward just let go, both hands on Lazlo's hips, letting louder moans out now. Lazlo bit his lips, he liked seeing Edward like this and didn't want to miss any of they were done Lazlo rest his head on Edward's chest and feel asleep.

* * *

The morning after was less awkward than what Lazlo expected. They talked for a bit and while Edward was in the shower, Lazlo picked his clothes from the floor, thought they looked kind of too dirty to be worn again. He asked him if he wanted him to wash them for him and that he probably had a change of clothes if he wanted. When Edward got out, wearing the shirt and sweat pants Lazlo gave him and made a comment on how it would be a shame if he had to leave now and come again for his clothes later, kind of flirting with him.

Lazlo didn't really understand right away what he meant and was looking for socks and his vest since he couldn't really leave with just a shirt and sweat pants, and then realised what Edward meant. He felt really embarrassed as Edward was kind of poking fun at him a little for not figuring it out. Edward thought he was really cute, that it was apparent that this wasn't something he would de often and he felt kind of proud for being one of the rare person to sleep with him. So he flirted with him all morning as Lazlo didn't seem to dislike it, he even seemed genuinely flattered and a little shy about it. He thought that with any other one night stand it would have been really awkward, but somehow not with him. He was an interesting, and really nice person.

When Edward's clothes were dried he said he had to leave and Lazlo told him goodbye, with a little hesitation. He then quickly went to find a piece of paper and gave him his number. Edward looked at him, thinking he was adorable and couldn't stop himself from smiling at the gesture. He left with his phone charged now with a map of the neighbourhood, trying to figure out where was his car. While he walked away he dialled and saved Lazlo's number in his phone right away not to lose it. He thought he would text him later that day. He kind of really wanted to see him again.


	4. Texts

Lazlo was now alone in his apartment again. Thinking this was the first time he actually gave his phone number to a guy. He felt really embarrassed and picked a cushion from the couch and hid his face in it, thinking it probably looked ridiculous. What was Edward thinking about him, that he was picking people up? Having all these phone numbers and inviting a guy over … ''God he probably thinks I'm obsessed with sex or something''. He remembered what happened the day before, and how it was a little freaky, then he remembered Edward's jokes, and how he was with him in the morning, flirting all the time. He couldn't stop himself from smiling. He did have a lot of fun.

He wondered if he would call him back, he didn't think he would. Lazlo though that the next time he would want to invite a guy over it would be easier, he felt a little more confident. He was still getting used to it, he did have one night stands with guys before, but this was still new to him. He thought that this time it felt a little different, probably because they kind of already knew each other or interacted as though they did and it made him feel more comfortable.

Lazlo had taken the day off that day since he had in mind there was a chance he would be hangover or still at Samson's place. He was feeling fine so he decided he would spend the day cleaning up his place, do some grocery and all. He had to wash the blankets anyway. He cleaned the place, picked up the clothes he lend Edward earlier. They were too small for him but they seemed to fit just fine on Edward, maybe he should have gave them to him. He then wondered how Edward usually dress as his clothes seemed a little formal for the reunion. Maybe he has a corporate job or something. That somehow sounds like him. Lazlo thought about how cute he was with his old clothes on. He shook his head trying to think about something else. He probably wasn't going to call him back anyway. This was a one night stand after all.

He then thought, ''well there's nothing wrong with finding him attractive''. He took a shower, dressed himself and left to walk to the grocery store. It was kind of far away, but he was used to it.

* * *

Edward found the place, with his phone he added Dave on Facebook so he could message him and know where he was, he needed his keys after all. Dave said he was still at Samson's house. When Edward got there, everyone was gone except Dave and Samson, they were talking in front of the door, probably waiting for Edward to get there. When he saw him he waved goodbye to Samson and asked Edward

-Hey you're giving me a lift right?

They walked for a bit looking for Edward's car. When they got in Dave jokingly asked

-Hey, you look alright, I kind of thought you would be crazy hangover today

-I don't really get hangover

-How lucky, you were out? You're wearing the same clothes, did you get lucky with one of the girls?

-I'm gay

-Ah…got lucky with one of the …guys… wow that doesn't sound right

Edward just laughed and didn't respond, Dave asked him if it bothered him if he posted the kiss challenge video, he said he didn't mind.

-I have to ask Lazlo too, do you think he's on Facebook?

-Probably, look him up

After dropping Dave home Edward left to his workplace as he had some paper works to do. He hadn't planned to be absent that day so he had some work to catch up. After a couple of hours he decided he needed a break, after all he was probably going to stay there for all evening. He texted Lazlo, why not, ask him if the kiss video bothered him or something.

-Hey Lazlo, this is Edward, do you mind if Dave posts the kiss challenge video?

-Hi, ehm no I don't mind

-can I add you on Facebook?

-Yeah, wait I'll do it

Lazlo looked through Dave's friends thinking Edward was probably already there, a couple of the guys had already sent him request too so he thought this might be the best time to do so. He accepted all of them then sent Edward a request, which he instantly accepted. He then texted him again.

-What you doing?

-Ah I'm grocery shopping, well, I'm walking to the grocery store, what are you doing?

-I'm at work

-Woah really? Are you okay? I mean you were pretty drunk yesterday

-Not that drunk I hope…

-haha no no that's not what I meant

-I hope it wasn't too weird for you

-No It was fun

-Hey Lazlo, do you have free time next week?

-Yeah! On Monday and Thursday

-Ah weird schedule you got there

-well, school and part time jobs you know

-I did heard you're still in school, is it going well?

-Yes thanks, so… next week?

-Yes! A date please

-haha You're straight forward, which day?

-Monday? When can I pick you up?

-I finish at five so I can be home around six

-I could pick you up at your work or school whichever if you'd like

-That's be nice, hey do you want the clothes you borrowed this morning? I mean they don't fit me anyway

-You calling me small?

-haha no that's not what I said, you're cute anyway that's not a good thing?

-You can't call a guy cute!

-You can't?

-Think about it Lazlo, do you like being called cute?

-Well yeah?

Edward facepalm and smiled to himself, thought how cute he was. He saw that Lazlo had add something else

-Still busy with work?

-Nah…. Not getting anything done tonight, and you?

-Getting back from the grocery store

-Wow its late, is it dark outside? I can't tell from here

-Not quite …wait

Lazlo stopped on the side of the road, placed his bags on the floor and took a picture of the street he was on. It was the main road with the markets and a lot of people on. It was getting late and the sun was setting so the sky was orange and pink. It was the end of spring and the trees were in flowers, it was getting late but a lot of people were still out, talking on the side of the street, kids playing around. He sent it to Edward, wondering if it would take a long time for him to receive it. He answered seconds later

-It's really pretty... arrrh well I guess I should leave and see the world for myself…

-haha, goodnight then

-goodnight


	5. Eugene

Eugene was in the living room sitting on the couch typing on his computer. When Phillip, his younger brother entered the room he immediately poke a little fun at him:

-Looking for boys in Edward's friends list again? You know you won't find someone like that…

Eugene simply smiled at him

-Well ….you don't know that

Phillip just had a disgusted look on his face

-Don't worry I don't look into your friends, they're not my type

As he said that he typed a couple other words

-Are you chatting with someone?

Phillip was now next to him looking at his screen

-If you feel like switching sides I can hook you up with someone if you'd like

-No I'm fine … Who's Lazlo?

-Edward's friend

Phillip's face changed to disgust again and shock

-Jesus stop it, it's really weird!

-But he's so nice! And cute

-But is he gay though

-He's kinda straight

-Kinda ….

-Well,he only has ex girlfriends in his FB but apparently he platonically French kissed Edward at a reunion party

-What the …

-The video is on Facebook I can show you!

\- (no thanks) Ah the weird contest, I saw the girls video, didn't know Edward was one of the guys

Eugene saw that Phillip was holding a pan

-Are you going to cook? Can you make me something, I'm starving!

-Make it yourself...

-But I'm busy!

He had a death stare as a response as the other left for the kitchen, a phone started ringing, which wasn't the house phone. Eugene reached in his pocket and as he saw the name put it on speaker.

-Speaking of the devil! Calling your favourite brother again! You shouldn't have

Phillip turned around, they didn't have a lot of news from Edward recently and kind of wanted to hear about him and so he got closer

-So what's going on?

-I need your advice on something…

Edward sounded very serious, not a, someone is dead kind of serious but something wasn't right. Edward wasn't the kind to be over joyous around his family, they didn't hate each other but he would so rarely call them let alone, call for advice. He'd come to family gatherings, be on his best behaviour, crack jokes and talk about anything and everything, but in the end he wouldn't say much about himself or what he's up to, he would simply say, nothing new, or avoid the question altogether. Their parents didn't worry about him, he looked happy, had a good job and didn't bring trouble unlike some of his brothers. So to hear him, ask Eugene of all people for advice, meant something was going on.

Eugene turned his phone back on the original settings and simply said ''what's wrong'', Phillip returned to the kitchen, opened the fan to make some background noise so Eugene wouldn't feel as though they were listened to.

-I've been seeing someone for a while now and … some things are just not right and I don't really know what to do.

-What kind of things?

-ehm … during sex to be specific

-It's not fun? It's boring? What is it

-He kind of …

-He?

-ehm ..yes he… we've been seeing each other for a while and started having sex more frequently and … I don't really know

-You don't like it?

-No I've been with guys before, that's not why I'm calling you, it's just, I think it's freaking him out

-His not into it… First time?

-No, he's been with guys too, I don't really understand, at first he liked it

-What changed

-Maybe I'm too aggressive?

-Uh oh you sure you want to tell me these things, I'm your brother you know

-yeah, you're right, this is weird …

-…

-… I should hang up

-No no, I'm worried now, just tell me what happened

-Well there were some times when he would just look uncomfortable you know, and I would ask him if everything was okay, he'd say yes and so, I wouldn't stop, but … there have been two times now, one where he looked unsure and …scared

-scared? … you talked to him about it? What'd he say?

-He just said, sorry, I wasn't into it …

-Are you doing something weird to him! Poor innocent child!

-No! God no I just …Just normal stuff… He told me to not worry about it … But he cried you know… it seems strange to me, I mean …you would stop someone before it gets there normally …no? And I'm not … how do I say this … I'm not the kind to be insistent, I'm not putting pressure on him or anything ..I just want to know what I'm doing wrong …

-Do you live together?

-No

-Where do you guys meet?

-At his place mostly but …

-But

-… All the time he freaked out he was at my place

-Maybe he's been in an abusive relationship before

Edward paused for a moment, then asked

-You think he sees me like that…

-No, but if I'm right, these kind of things are quite scarring so that would explain why he's so apologetic.

-why?

-Because he feels bad that you think this is your fault, because it doesn't have anything to do with you

-What should I do?

-do you go to his place sometimes?

-Yeah

-Try talking to him about it there, but …I would avoid making conclusions to fast, we don't know what's going on, and, from what I hear you don't know each other that much, be careful

-ha ha… don't worry about me,

-I will anyway, hey, we're off topic here but

And then Eugene raised his voice so Phil would hear

-Does it bother you if I chat with some of your facebook friends?

Phil looked at him with exasperation, mimicked with his lips,'' why ….why'' over and over. Edward just answered, ''why would you do that …''

-Well …because some guys of your reunion thing are really cute and I want to hook up with them! Hehe

Eugene clearly heard Edward face palm and the other side of the line and laugh ''do what you want''

-Hey which one is yours so we don't overlap or something?

-you just wanted to know who it is, admit it

-Yeah! You come out to me, I want to know what kind of dudes you like!

-Don't tell anyone though, I don't think anyone knows on his side

-Oh, both living the impossible love … how romantic

-Don't make fun of me … He's called Lazlo

-oh …

-What …

-The guy you kissed?

-Yeah … wait you remembered his name

-I'm chatting with him

-WHAT!?

-He's adorable

\- NO! YOU CAN'T HOOK UP WITH HIM

-oh no Edward ….I already send pictures!

-(incomprehensible screams)

Phil finished cooking and bring a bowl of fried rice to his brother laughing, he could hear muffled screams on the other line, ''what are you guys talking about?'' he asked in a low voice. Eugene just raised his shoulders in a I don't know way wiping tears of laughter, picked the bowl, looked at it and said '' I love shrimps! Thanks'' as Edward could still be heard screaming.


	6. Eviction

Edward took Eugene's advice and was in front of Lazlo's place. It was a small apartment near the train station, probably overpriced because of the location. Lazlo didn't have a driver's license so it was probably for convenience. The door was kind of hidden behind the first floor's stairs and you had to walk next to the first floor car in the parking to get to it. It looked like a house rearranged in apartments and Lazlo's place was basically the basement, without the garage. Edward knocked once, he didn't have any answer, he knocked again. He didn't see or hear about Lazlo in about a week but he didn't worry too much as he was quite busy and Lazlo said he was in his finals. ''Can I help you?''

A voice on his left asked him. Edward had a hesitation, so they asked again ''Can I help you?''

-ehm Yes! I'm looking for Lazlo, he's not here?

-He just left, you're his friend?

-Yes, I … I'll just come by later then, thank you

And he then walk back to the street, walking up the drive way near the person, it was an old lady with a big green winter coat and gloves (it's not that cold) Edward though.

-is he doing okay?

-is there something wrong with him?

-well, I'm supposed to give him this but,

EVICTION LETTER was stamped in red on the envelope

-I never see him, he doesn't answer the door and the landlord keeps trying to reach him

\- Why?

-Because he has late payments he says

\- (Lazlo …really) is there a way I can reach him?

-Lazlo?

-no, the landlord, and I can take this too? I'll pass it

-Yes, thank you, sorry to be bothering you this is all quite troubling

-it's okay I understand, you won't have any more problems with this don't worry

* * *

Lazlo had been running around all day, papers to give and late studies, he couldn't go back home too early neither, trying to stretch the conflict with his landlord until the end of the finals at least. Just a couple of weeks that's all it takes, but he didn't give him a chance. He can't work full time when he's studying, summer is near too, '' I'll have the money in no time …I'll even pay the weird extra he wanted, just give me some time'' He left the train station and took a small path behind the building, got in by a small window. He's been avoiding the front door lately, the old lady won't stop trying to give him what seems to be an eviction letter …it's probably not but he can't afford (literally) getting evicted now … so he buys time getting in and out from the back window.

He quickly took his shoes off and went to the main room where

-woah!

-I'm not that scary …

Edward was sitting at the table, which … he clearly cleaned up, the dishes were made too (how embarrassing)

-What are you doing here?

-The front door wasn't looked … Which brings the question …why would you get in by the back window

-eh

-Just kidding I know you're avoiding your landlord

-…The old lady told you?

-Yeah also gave me this, you got evicted three days ago

Edward who was on his phone the whole time finally put it away in his pocket, looked at Lazlo while standing up, he was looking down, horrified. Edward let go of a small laugh and went to hug him briefly

-Hey don't worry, you're not anymore, well, you still are but you can stay until July.

-What?

Lazlo looked at him a bit confused

-I paid him, your landlord, he should leave you alone for now.

It took a moment for Lazlo to understand what was going on, so he was going to be okay for the rest of the trimester …

-I'll pay you back I swear!

-You don't have too.

-I will

-okay but more importantly …this is worrying …how long have you been living like this

-ah ….yeah I didn't have time to clean up and

-no I mean … going around the block and passing through the window

-ah …three weeks, how much did you pay him?

-I won't tell you that, but, what are you going to do, you only have a couple of weeks to find a new place.

-I'll look for it in my free time.

\- Will you miss this place?

-No, not really, the neighbours are weird…

-I saw that … if you want you could …

-…

-Move in with me

-Edward I'm really not sure about this…

-Why not

-I mean you already paid for my rent … and I won't be able to pay you back for a while, I feel like …this is too much

-too fast?

-yeah ….and it's your place

\- ah ..pff, we could have a house! And a dog!

Edward was joking around now making a creepy face, '' too fast eh'' ''we could get married'' Lazlo laughed, embarrassed and happy at the same time.

-anyway, offer is still on the table …literally

Edward then placed the eviction letter on the table. Lazlo asked

-would you like to stay?

-don't you have studies to do?

-yes but, it's been a while

-I'd like to

Edward then took a second look at Lazlo, something looked different

-What's the matter?

-Are you …are you eating properly?

-ehm yes I …Edward?

Edward feeling Lazlo's sides and arms, he looked a bit embarrassed and tried to put distance between them

-You lost weight

-haha ehm ….oups?

-I'll make something for you stay here and study, I'll be back in a sec

-wait I …

He then put his shoes on and quickly left before Lazlo could protest

Lazlo was now alone in his apartment, Edward had cleaned up most of the place, didn't go in his bedroom apparently, just the kitchen, table and trash. Lazlo felt really embarrassed, he really was neglecting himself and his place recently and didn't want Edward of all people to see it.

Edward asked him on a couple of dates after they hooked up, and they were now in a romantic relationship so to speak. Lazlo was kind of busy and felt a little bad about how Edward was taking most of the initiative, but he really liked him and felt as though he wasn't bringing anything to the table. He felt like, he didn't understand what Edward wanted from him. Normally in a relationship, there is some kind of balance between what you give and receive. You're with someone because they give you something somehow, not material but emotionally. Maybe he was overthinking it. After all, it was the first time he really started going out with someone who he truly loved. Lazlo stopped on that thought, (no it's not love, we just met, well, started dating, it's just a crush or something …)

He looked at the door, maybe it would be fun to go grocery shopping with him. Edward asked him to go live with him, a little by obligation but still. How would it be living with him? Lazlo thought about the times he spent at Edward's place, he wakes up early, his place is mostly silent, he doesn't put music or noise, he doesn't have a TV, just a computer, and they watched some movies on it. The windows are almost always open, there are plants in the kitchen where there is most of the light. It's a nice and relaxing place of all things, it feels safe. He did fall asleep more than once on that couch. Lazlo let out a small laugh and smiled thinking about it.

He has a guest room, which is also like a second small living room where his books are. He uses it like a small library. There's a desk there with a dying cactus '' I water them too much apparently'' he said after being asked how do you even kill a cactus. He said it's a guest room for now but he was thinking of removing the bed and just use it as is. He said it used to be for his brother who stayed with him for a while. Now thinking back on it he did mention his brother moved in with him for a while after his breakup, maybe he was worried about Edward living alone.

Maybe Edward doesn't like living alone. Lazlo tried not to rationalise too much. Nobody likes being alone. Lazlo was thinking more and more that moving in with him would be a good idea, he wanted to get to know him more too. Maybe just for a little while? Edward's place feels nice and smells nice, Lazlo then wondered if Edward though he was a slob for not cleaning up his place … Lazlo looked at his text books …he wasn't studying like he was supposed to do. He cleared his mind and focused on what he had to do, trying to finish everything as fast as he could so he could spend more time with Edward later on.


	7. First day living together

Lazlo thought about it for a while. He always managed somehow to find a place to live and find work, but lately, with school it became a little harder. He would do two or 3 jobs in the summer, keep a part time job for the school year and somehow make it, but as Edward said it, he wasn't living a healthy lifestyle. Lazlo didn't like the idea of financially depending on Edward. When they talked about it he just said, 'see it as though you're renting a low cost room and that if you need time for payment I won't bother you'. It wasn't as though he didn't like spending time with him, he already spent most of his time at Edward's place now, but it worried him that they took a decision like that because of financial difficulties. Anyway, the school trimester was over and Lazlo could start working several jobs again so money wouldn't be a problem. This was partly why he accepted to move in with Edward.

Everything was already moved to Edward's place now, not that he had many belongings to begin with (easier to move from place to place that way) but it was the first day, Lazlo would stay there …and not go home again. Well it technically was his home now, but it still felt like Edward's place.

His apartment was always clean and everything had its place. It was a lot bigger and nicer than the places Lazlo was used to. It was on a third floor, the only neighbour Lazlo ever saw was the old man living next to them, who was exceptionally nice to him. He would say hi to him every time he saw him, talk about the weather and his garden. Apparently Edward had access to a portion of the garden downstairs but said he, the old man, could use it. He always wants to give them veggies that grow there, as a way to thank him maybe. Edward talks with him a lot as it seems because when Lazlo passed him by that day he gave him a basket as a welcoming gift with fruits in it. He probably knows they're a couple … probably heard them to be exact, they need to be more careful about that.

Lazlo opened the door, Edward was in the kitchen cooking something.

-What are you making?

Edward looked at him briefly, still half asleep

-breakfast

It was early in the morning and they both had the day off. Lazlo was supposed to go job hunting that day but Edward convinced him he should take at least a day off before doing so. ''You don't have to run around anymore''. Even though Lazlo didn't like the idea of depending on Edward, it did feel as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He sat at the kitchen table, looked at Edward. Lazlo did sleep at Edward's place the night before but left early to go take the last bags from his previous apartment. Edward was still asleep when he left, he didn't want to wake him up.

-So….

Lazlo knew they were a couple, for a little time now, but being with him in the morning, staying for the day, was still kind of new. They would see each other every day now.

-so?

-The neighbour gave me this, don't you think it's nice? You told him I was moving in?

-Ah yes I wanted to tell you, he's the landlord here.

-Ah! Okay

-He has trouble finding people to rent, so of course he's happy that I bring people.

-I'm not renting a new place though

-I think he's more lonely than anything else.

Edward sat at the table with Lazlo to eat and looked at the small word attached to the basket and smiled.

-Are you leaving today in the end?

-No I'll stay.

-Do you like it here?

-It's only been five minutes!

-Oh… you're right

They laughed a little, this was still new and a little awkward

-It's the first time I move in with someone.

-Really?

-Yeah, I, I would go see them and vis versa but in the end I never moved in with someone

-Why

-I don't know, it just never happened.

-I think it's usually more natural

-You had boyfriends before?

-you really want to talk about that?

-I'm kind of curious

Edward had two serious boyfriends in the past. The relationships both respectively lasted about a year and the other two. Only one of them moved in with him but it didn't last from that point. They would argue a lot and, the feelings weren't there anymore.

-How do you feel about it?

Edward looked at him for a second. How did he feel about it, He didn't know. He rubbed his arm in a self-reassuring way

-I don't know. I just feel like, I don't understand why it didn't work. I'm just afraid I'm doing something wrong that pushes people away and I don't know what it is.

-Don't think about it too much, it just doesn't work sometimes

Lazlo looked at him with gentle eyes and rubbed his back. Edward smiled perplexed.

-Are you really trying to make me feel better about my exes? That somehow feels wrong

-Well it looked like it bothered you, I don't know? I'm not supposed to?

It did make Edward feel better. He was worried about starting a relationship with Lazlo. He didn't feel like he changed that much since he broke up with his ex and, had insecurities about it. He really wants things to work out with Lazlo. '' I really want to make this work''

-Ha, me too …

Edward looked at Lazlo, he was smiling and looked a bit embarrassed. Did he say that out loud. Edward felt his cheeks get red. He didn't mean to say that out loud. He tried to change the subject.

-Do … do you want to do something today?

-No I think it would be fun to just spend the day together? I kind of want to get to know you better ha ha …

Edward just though how cute, and nice Lazlo is with him. Wondered again how he managed to get someone like that. Lazlo is very different from the person's he's used to date, maybe this was going to work in the end. He really likes him after all.

They went to buy a couple of things, finished they're shopping with lunch and went back home. They bought movies on sale, snacks, even a deck of cards. 'Where like old people now' Lazlo joked about when picking up the deck. Edward told him he would show him how to play poker and other betting games, but in reality he just wanted opportunities to make Lazlo loose bets.

They went back home and watched movies, talked over the bad ones, stop to unpack a couple of boxes and then resume. Edward then asked

-I never heard of your exes before.

-Do you want to? I thought it might be awkward or something

-I told you about mines, so I'm curious about yours

Lazlo had mostly girlfriends in the past, and one boyfriend.

-Just one?

-I had one night stands after the breakup

-Are you bisexual?

-No, not really

-You were experimenting?

-No I've always kind of knew that was gay, but I somehow thought, that I could make it work with a girl if I really wanted to

-Why would you do that?

-I don't know, I'm kind of nervous about it, about coming out to my family, well, my Dad.

-Just your Dad?

-I only have my dad.

-oh …

-My mom died when I was young, and when she was alive, she was quite sick so I never got to know her? There are some fractures in my family, long story short, I only have my Dad whom I close to, and well, I don't want to risk our relationship because of him, or lose him because of this.

-…

-That came out wrong

-No it's okay. I get it.

Edward remembered that Lazlo did mention his mom was sick when they were in camp, which means she died shortly after. It hurt Edward a little to know that he would probably never get to know Lazlo's Dad and that he didn't have a family to go to. Of course he understood Lazlo's dilemma, but it felt as though Lazlo was still ashamed of his sexuality even if he accepted it. He tried to change the subject

-Why did your previous relationship ended?

-Oh, hem, I wasn't comfortable with it.

-How come?

-Well …

Lazlo let out a shy laugh and continued

-I'm not sure if I should tell you that but, in all of my previous relationships, girls and guys, I was on the more dominant side during sex? And I think I'm more comfortable the other way around … Is that weird?

-Really?

-Yes … This is embarrassing.

-No no! It's okay, it's just surprising to me

Lazlo face was red and he looked really embarrassed he tried to add something

-Well, I do like switching sometimes, but if you're not into it I don't mind

-No I do like switching it sometimes too…

Edward though about it for a second and shook his head, not the time to think about these kind of things. They were on the couch. Edward was leaning on Lazlo's shoulder the entire time which created a circumstantial sexual tension between the two of them now, which prompt him to sit up and clear his throat.

-Hem, I'll go make some coffee, do you want some?

-Y …yes that would be nice

Lazlo looked as embarrassed as him. He smiled at him when he left for the kitchen. Lazlo was now alone in the living room, paused the movie. He felt his face was warm. He momentarily though about how Edward would be if they switched it up and felt even more flustered. Edward got back with two cups and saw Lazlo looking on the side with a hand over his mouth. He turned around to look at his lover

-You're thinking about it! Edward said

-What? Lazlo was agitated and nervous

-Stop thinking about it!

Lazlo then put his face in his hands embarrassed and laughing. Edward sat next to him and as a way to reaffirm manliness put his arm around him, trying to be serious.

-What are you doing?

Lazlo was laughing, placed his lips on Edward cheek and didn't insist, Edward then started

-but you know it was kind of like that for me too

-what do you mean?

Lazlo stopped fooling around and listened to him carefully, he was really curious as to know how Edward was with his previous dates, he was hesitant to ask him because of how he seemed still hurt about it.

-I used to be more submissive in my previous relationships. One of them didn't want to switch places at all, so I'm a little glad that you're not like that. That being said, I feel like I never dated someone like you before.

Lazlo though about that for a second. How was he different from the previous ones?

-What do you mean?

-I don't know, you're …nice? I trust you.

It was such a simple thing to say, but it felt like the world to Lazlo at that moment. He leaned in to rest his head on Edward's chest. He just wanted to stay like this. As they watched the movie he fell asleep, when he opened his eyes Edward told him he shouldn't sleep like that and they should go to bed. They cuddled for a while, Lazlo had Edward in his arms and though 'I don't want this to end'

* * *

Facebook moments

Edward was with Lazlo today

''He still doesn't get why he keeps losing''

Dave looked at the picture, Lazlo was seen with playing cards in his hands looking puzzled and confused. He looked like he was losing. A piece of furniture was behind him, with glass doors, on the reflection you could clearly see his deck.

PINGPONG : Edward stop cheating! Look at him!

CHIP : I don't understand, is it because of his bad poker face?

PINGPONG : Omg look at the glass door behind him

CHIP : OH!

LAZLO : YOU WHERE CHEATING ALL THIS TIME!?

PINGPONG : Lazlo how did you not even see that yourself

DAVE : Were you guys betting something? Lazlo seems invested

LAZLO : HE MADE ME WATCH 140 KUNG FU MOVIES!

EDWARD : 137*

* * *

PINGPONG posted a picture in hiking with the camp kidney crew

Lazlo was seen with a giant centipede in his hands

PINGPONG : The best part of this was Edward screaming like a little girl in the morning

DAVE : You don't even know, we were already awake when we heard them in the tent

CHIP : Lazlo was like ' I never saw them this big before' and Edward panicked and was like 'oh god don't touch that!'

DAVE : But it was so big!

SAMSON : Guys I can't see the picture what are you even talking about …

DAVE : It was sooooo big!

PINGPONG : It doesn't even fit in his hand!

DAVE : It was too big for Edward to handle ;)

EDWARD : Guys, seriously …

DAVE : don't try to hide it Edward we know you didn't get over that kiss!

SAMSON : omg okay it's a centipede…

DAVE : Lazlo's centipede*

* * *

Edward posted a video with Lazlo today

There was a video which started with Edward's hand and a cat

-Today my neighbour asked me to take care of his cat until he comes back from hospital in a week. It's nothing serious but more importantly … look at this...

Edward then tried to reach for the cat hidden under the table, it hissed at him and scratched his hand. It drew blood

-OUCH! I swear it was nice when it got here! … Guy's what do I do

A door could be heard opening in the distance, Edward looked away and change the camera angle for a second, a moment later the cat ran to the door like its life depended on it.

-Lazlo be careful its evil!

Edward then followed the cat to the door, Lazlo just picked it up and pet it. The cat looked happy and comfortable it licked his face. Edward froze.

-What's the matter?

Edward then tried to pet it with a trembling hand, it let him. The video ended with the cat rubbing its face on Lazlo's.

PINPONG : AWWWWW

CHIP : That cat knows Edward is jerk

SKIP : And that Lazlo's a nice guy

PINGPONG : Lazlo the pussy magnet

DAVE : I like how Edward AND the cat instinctively knew it was Lazlo at the door

PINPONG : Yeah you guys are always together

DAVE : opposites attract

PINGPONG : When you say it like that it's as though they're going out or something

DAVE : Are they though, Edward enlighten us

EDWARD : Yes definitely, Lazlo my love!

LAZLO : Oh Edward!

PINGPONG : Ewwww

DAVE : hahahahahahha

PINGPONG : By the way Lazlo if you're gay that's totally fine, it's the lovey dovey Edward that's disturbing

LAZLO : Wow thanks, Pingpong and Skip

EDWARD : Yeah …Thanks Pinpong and Chip

CHIP : You're welcome! For what?

SAMSON : Imagine the cat is being territorial with Edward because it thinks it's another cat and he wants to keep Lazlo for himself.

LAZLO : Actually I worked at the fish shop that day, so it was because I was smelling like fish!

PINGPONG : Dave, That's your call

DAVE : I hear you Pingpuns!

PINGPONG : god I hate you

* * *

Dave private messaged Edward

DAVE : Hey Edward just wanted to know how you were doing, and also …. ARE YOU going out with Lazlo, I'm sorry I'm just really curious. Because it's true that you're always together.

EDWARD : Hey … well, what do you think

DAVE : That you are? I mean you did leave with him at the reunion

EDWARD : Ah yes definitely, Lazlo lives with me now and we have a typical domestic life

DAVE : Wow I can't tell if you're kidding or not

EDWARD : I make him wear pink aprons and stuff

DAVE : WTF Edward, what the hell, now I have a really strange image of you two in my head AND I still don't know if your serious

EDWARD : Do you want pictures?

DAVE : God NO!

EDWARD : hahahaha


	8. Cheating

-Hey Lazlo

-Hm?

They were in the living room, Lazlo reading some text books and Edward working at is desk

-Do you …do you remember when we started going out together? The first times you came to my place?

Lazlo remained silent, he knew what Edward was going to ask, hoped it wasn't it

-You … Freaked out, and, we never talked about it again. But it still bothers me sometimes …

-It's nothing

-Still …

-No it won't happen again, don't worry

Edward hesitated, he didn't want to insist if Lazlo didn't want to talk about it. It's been almost a years since then also. Lazlo changed the subject

-I found a new job

-A new job?

-Well it's not really a job, an old friend contacted me ...

Apparently, this old friend, went to circus school and theatre school in the last years. When They were still in high school the both of them would work in an amusement park in the summer and had an amateur clown act for a while. He now wanted to do something with Lazlo again as a way to remember the old days. His friend had a arrangement to use the material to practice and they would do the cleaning and take care of the place in exchange. Edward was still a bit off, thinking that Lazlo was deliberately hiding something from him, and now this thing he never heard about. He felt as though he didn't really know him. 'well, if he's not comfortable about it I can't force him'

-I never heard about that …

-It wasn't really important

Edward was spacing out, didn't hear the last thing Lazlo said so he repeated

-Are you okay?

Edward looked away and scratched the back of his head

-Yes … congratulations

-Well, I didn't start yet, and it's not really official either. They let us use the material and resources for only a little time. I think he wants me to go to school and have like … a career in this, which sounds strange to me but …

-You want to try it

-Yes!

Lazlo chuckled, saw Edward looking worried. He still didn't want to talk about it and hoped he wouldn't bring it up again.

* * *

Lazlo was now training for his circus act with that 'old friend' for a couple of months now. Edward wouldn't see him that often since Lazlo would leave quite early in the morning and sometimes work a part time job in the evening. He felt a little bit lonely. He looked around, Lazlo's text books where on the coffee table in the living room but beside that, the apartment was the same. Lazlo didn't really put any of his things out, still had boxes and a backpack, as thought he was leaving any second. It wasn't the case, but Edward still felt a little strange not seeing any changes. There was a lot more spices in the kitchen now though. He smiled and walked around a bit. He tried to remember what Lazlo's apartment looked like. Now that he thinks about it it didn't really look like him. Maybe he just wasn't into personalising his place, but then again, he remembered the jelly cabin. Well that was a long time ago. Since they've been together he kind of forgot that they used to know one another.

He went to the bottom of his closet there was on old box, with his camp uniform, pictures and letters. He looked through family picture, camp pictures, and one in particular caught his attention. They were all there, all the campers from camp kidney, smiling. He remembered that, it was near the end of the summer and someone mentioned he needed to take a picture for his parents or something. He mailed the final result to everyone a couple of months later. Lazlo probably has it too. Maybe this isn't right. Maybe they shouldn't be together, this is strange after all. What if the others knew? Would they be supportive? He didn't ask Lazlo about it, but he felt like he wouldn't want anyone to know. After all, Lazlo is still …ashamed of his sexuality. It wasn't something they talked about, but he felt that if he asked him he wouldn't want to talk about it.

This isn't good. They can't talk to one another. Maybe he's over thinking it. Of course there are things Lazlo doesn't want to talk about, especially if he's still struggling with them. Edward probably had something he himself didn't want to bring up but still... He heard the door open. He placed the box back to its place but kept the picture which he placed in a drawer next to him. Lazlo heard noises in the bed room,

-Oh you're still awake?

-You're early

-No I'm not?

Edward looked at the time. 11PM it was the usual time. He just didn't saw the time pass.

-Are you okay?

Lazlo looked at him worried

-Ah yes, I'm just tired.

-do you want to do something?

Edward looked around. He wanted to talk to Lazlo about his worries, and how he would like to see him more and, that he didn't have to have a part time job. But remembered how he didn't even want to move in with him. He didn't want to depend on him at all costs.

-Edward? You don't look okay

Lazlo walked to him and placed his hands on his shoulders, Edward was still looking away but reacted quickly he smiled, brushed it off and said.

-I kind of want to order some take out. You didn't eat yet right?

-Oh, yes, hm okay

Lazlo put on a shy smile, he was worried now. They left, walked in the night, they bought coffee and some snacks in the end. Lazlo said he wasn't really hungry. They were sitting in a park, it wasn't too dark. Edward looked at him, he seemed tired, and a little sad. Edward tried to work his way around it.

-How was your day?

-Oh it was great!

Lazlo then immediately put a smile on his face. It started to irritated Edward

-Why do you do that

-Do what?

-You didn't look happy a second ago, it seemed as though something was on your mind.

Edward stopped what he was saying, he didn't want to get angry with him. He had a long day and probably didn't need that. Lazlo looked confused, and uncomfortable, looking away, he didn't know how to react.

-Sorry, it's just, I don't know.

-I didn't want to get angry with you

-It's okay, I get it.

Edward thought to himself 'get what' it wasn't like he was always like that or he had a reason to be. 'Don't just take it, Lazlo you don't deserve to be treated like this'. Edward was now getting irritated with himself. He felt like it would have been better if Lazlo didn't get it, in his words, and got angry with him. He wanted Lazlo to get angry with him? That's ridiculous, why would he want that.

-Edward? There's something I want to tell you.

He looked up, Lazlo looked, ashamed.

-You know Alex?

-Your friend?

-Yes, he tried to make a move on me today.

Edward looked shocked, he didn't know what to say.

-I kind of knew he had other intentions, but didn't want to admit it. I didn't tell him I was already seeing someone so he probably thought he had a chance or something. He tried to kiss me. I pushed him away but I feel like, it feels icky, I think I should stop going there altogether.

Edward thought about it for a while. Lazlo putted a lot in effort in the past few months, said he was progressing fast and had compliments from his peers. He looked like he really enjoyed it.

-Do you think it would affect your training?

-No not really, he apologised and said he didn't want me to leave for something like that. But I don't know, this feels really wrong. What do you think?

-If you don't feel uncomfortable working with him I think you should stay.

Lazlo looked a bit surprised. He thought that if he told Edward about it he would get mad with him. But he wasn't, he looked very calm, even more than before telling him, maybe he should trust him more. Lazlo stopped on that thought, why wouldn't he trust him … He realised he wasn't 100% honest with Edward and didn't quite know why.

-So what do you want to do?

Lazlo was spacing out

-If you're okay with it, I would like to stay.

-I don't mind

-okay … Edward?

-what?

-I love you

-I love you too but …don't hide things from me okay?

-Okay

* * *

It was now a couple of weeks later, Lazlo was training with his friend on the trapeze that day. He was naturally strong and athletic but that was hard. He kept failing and having to start again. He was quite determined to make it. At one point he fell in the net again, exhausted. Alex let himself fall next to him. Lazlo laughed, it was so ridiculous, anyone seeing him now would wonder why he's even there. Alex told him it's normal and that maybe he would be better at something else.

Lazlo thought about how distant Edward was with him, and how he didn't let him get too close to him, emotionally. Yes they would have sex often but somehow it always felt a little distant. Edward started working late and talking to him less, get more irritated with him. He wondered if that was it, maybe it just wasn't going to work out. Lazlo felt frustrated with himself, how Edward just wouldn't let him love him. Maybe he just doesn't love him anymore. As Lazlo's thoughts were racing Alex got a little closer to him but not too much. They briefly looked at each other and Lazlo saw that Alex was looking at him with dreamy eyes. Lazlo wondered if it would feel like kissing Edward to kiss someone who loves you. Lazlo leaned in and pressed his lips against his. He felt Alex surprise and kissing him back, very passionately, like he was giving himself. Lazlo wondered how it would feel if Edward did something like that, kissing him with his whole self instead of just his lips. For a moment, Lazlo forgot about everything around him, focusing on the kiss.

There was a sudden loud sound from the chairs in the distance. Edward was there, made a couple of chairs fall by accident, he had bought the bag Lazlo asked him to bring a couple of days back. He just quickly walked away.

-Wait Edward!

Lazlo tried to follow him but he couldn't find him, there was a lot of distance between the two of them when he saw him. Alex asked him what was going on, Lazlo told him everything and apologised. Alex responded with 'I knew you were seeing someone, I thought maybe I still had a chance'. Lazlo didn't think too much about it, he just had to leave now.

* * *

When he got home Edward wasn't there, he tried to call him but he didn't respond. He waited sitting on the couch, thinking he really screwed up. Was Edward going to leave him for this? Who wouldn't… He passed the door, Lazlo instantly got up

-Edward?

He didn't respond

-I'm sorry it was an accident I just

-There is no such thing as kissing someone by accident Lazlo

Edward snapped and closed the door behind him. He was very calm, but anger could clearly be heard in his voice. Lazlo wanted to explain himself, he felt his hands shaking, he didn't want things to end like this, the kiss didn't mean anything he just didn't think on the moment and let it happen.

-Edward I just

-No don't say anything, there is nothing you can say that won't make it worse, just leave already…

Edward was getting impatient, he didn't look Lazlo in the eyes once since he opened the door. Lazlo remained silent. He didn't want to leave.

-Edward it didn't mean anything …

-I SAID LEAVE!

Edward then left the room, leaving Lazlo alone in the living room. Lazlo was getting frustrated with this. Why didn't he let him say something? Lazlo grabbed his backpack, a couple of things from the bathroom and some clothes and left. He didn't really had anywhere to go but he would manage somehow. He'd been in worst situations before. He felt tears on his face, wiped them and kept walking. He felt frustrated that Edward didn't even let him say something. It didn't mean anything, he didn't have any intention of cheating on him …

* * *

A couple of weeks had gone by now. Lazlo didn't go out with the camp crew anymore. He would politely tell them he's busy. He was still thinking about the break up from time to time but '' I'll get over it'' He told himself and went to work as usual… down stairs. It was a small shop for computer repairs, Lazlo didn't know much about it but was working as a help, for chores and coffee mostly, and ….sex appeal as his ''manager'' would say. Maybe because of the circus training he did in the last couple of months, he was a lot stronger and could see the difference in his body. Not that he though this statement was serious to begin with. Thinking back on it it's probably a joke to make him feel more confident, because the day he got the job, AND started renting the studio upstairs was the same day Edward kicked him out, and in the interview Lazlo remembered they said something along the lines of ''why do you want this job?'' '' because I got kicked out by my ex also… are you the one renting the studio upstairs'' and the manager laughed so hard he hired him and became his landlord at the same time.

He also enjoyed learning from his coworkers on the side. It wasn't a passion but it was interesting. Lazlo never really looked to do something specific with his life, he wasn't aiming a career or a specific goal, and he just went with the flow. The job was pretty easy, he even started helping them out with some of the ''repairs'' which were most of the times little strange things or inadvertence from the customer like …forgetting to charge the laptop … forgetting to plug in the computer …getting a virus … not understanding how basic functions work such as, emails … paying your internet bills …opening the computer. It was a basic job, a simple, stress less job. He wasn't doing anything else at the same time, he was paying his student loans, which weren't too high because he'd been careful, he was eating properly, had spare money, didn't have problem paying his rent. For the longest time in a while he had a lot of spare time on his hands. He stopped meeting with Alex, stopped the circus thing altogether. Alex even asked him, since he wasn't with Edward anymore, to date him, but Lazlo politely told him no. He hated himself for what happened and staying there felt disgusting, nothing less. He regretted what happened but felt like there was nothing else to do.


	9. Catching up

Lazlo received a text message from Edward

-Can you come over tonight?

Lazlo was feeling quite nervous, he had tried to apologize and get back with Edward after what happened but could never get to meet with him. A couple of weeks had gone by now and the only thing he could think of was ''is he going to give me another chance?''

Lazlo went to the apartment where he used to live, knocked, Edward was still in his work clothes, he probably just got home, not saying much he kissed Lazlo and bring him inside. It surprised him but he didn't push him away. They made out for a couple of seconds, Lazlo then realize this was just about sex. 'I don't mind' he thought to himself.

They went directly to the bedroom, Lazlo started undressing him and was it because he was wearing a suit, it hit him at the time how much he wanted Edward. How much he was attracted to him and how manly he looked. Not the kind of attraction you have for someone you care about, it was intense desire. Lazlo had been with guys before in passive and dominant ways but normally it would go with their temperament. It was the first time he felt in charge with someone as proud and manly as Edward.

Edward made a gesture as to try to push him over but Lazlo kept him down by kissing him, started taking his pants off, unbuttoning his shirt. Edward broke the kiss to breath, he was really getting into it. Lazlo then looked at his face 'is he enjoying this'? Oh yes he was. His cheek were red, he had a devious smile and pervy eyes. Lazlo knew that look, he liked what was going on. Lazlo felt his body get warmer, but also started to get… mad? 'he thinks this is funny, he doesn't care?' He started penetrating Edward, He did took the time to put lube on but didn't do any foreplay beside the quick undressing and making out. He's normally not that rough with him but he didn't care. When trusting he looked straight in Edward's eyes, one part of him was checking if he wasn't hurting him, and another just wanted to see the grin fade away.

Edward bit his lips, Lazlo was never like that with him, it felt so good, he was moaning more and more, and normally he doesn't make a lot of noise during sex but this was different ...'' ahh… Lazlo''

Lazlo loved hearing his name like that, and wanted to hear it again, he kept trusting a hard as he could, thinking that it was probably hurting him more than anything but he liked it, thinking he was hurting him… The though disturbed him for a second but seeing Edward like that pushed the though away. He could hear Edward's deep quiet moans and heavy breathing. Edward came hard, didn't even realize he was until he felt himself cum. Lazlo slowed his pace but didn't stop. He started caressing Edward's body and flipped him so Edward was now face down on the bed, Lazlo behind him. Edward reached for Lazlo's hand and made him touch him, he was already getting harder. Lazlo pounded him for a while, it felt so good to do so, he was so stressed about the break up that'd he stopped thinking about sex and forgot how good it felt to just take him. He eventually came, he felt like he could have kept going but Edward looked tired, his legs were weak and …he wasn't used to it. He then flipped Edward over to kiss him and finish him with his hand. He never saw Edward like this before, vulnerable, moaning, saying his name in pleasure, powerless … He didn't take long to come again, he had one of his hand on Lazlo's chest and his lips on his neck, Lazlo could feel his breath near his ear he didn't want to let go of him, keep him as close as he could.

They were out of breath, Lazlo still on top of Edward, he was breathing heavily. He kissed him one last time and rolled next to him. Now that it was over so many things rushed in his head. He felt really desperate, he loved him so much and this was all his fault, he missed him. His heart was still beating out of his chest but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Edward looked tired and sweaty, went back into Lazlo's arms to rest his head on his chest. Lazlo tried to empty his mind, focusing on Edward in his arms and eventually fell asleep like that, didn't say a word.


	10. Amusement park

Lazlo had just came down the stairs, said a small ''hi'' to everyone and went directly to the kitchen to start his chores of the day which started with coffee. Cab, full name Caleb, who was the shortest of the group, followed him. Lazlo momentarily looked at him to see if something was wrong, the other looked worried. ''Are you okay?''

-Yes why would you ask?

-You look mad

-I'm not mad

Lazlo was looking back at him with a smile on his face, his eyes didn't smile though

-Are you sure?

-Why would I be mad? Lazlo started to have more intent in his voice

-I don't know I thought …

-Everything is fine right?

Lazlo interrupted him this time

-Lazlo you're scary

-Because I'm fine with being ignored then dragged around and being used …absolutely!

Lazlo started walking slowly in his direction

-What are you talking about …

-I've never been… better, everything is fine …

Lazlo was now just next to him, suddenly placed his two hands on the others shoulder, still smiling

-Or …. Is it…

-AAAAAARRRHHHH

The other coworkers who hear screaming went directly to the kitchen where they saw Lazlo laughing and Caleb in another corner of the room ''this isn't funny! You're terrifying!''

-What the hell happened here Lazlo don't scare my employees like that!

* * *

Dave texted Lazlo

-Hey Lazlo how are you doing? I was just wondering, how is it going between you and Edward? I know it's like a running gag with everyone, but even if you guys are not going out, didn't you use to be good friends at least? It looks as though something happened? Is everything okay?

Lazlo hesitated to respond, his first though was to deny they ever were close but he though, this is why people get confused with me, and … Edward became distant because he felt as though I was ashamed … because of lies like this

-Yes we used to go out, it was and wasn't a joke at the same time, but we broke up anyway

-What happened? I won't tell anyone

-It's okay, I screwed up … cheated on him to make it short

Dave looked at his phone, perplexed. Cheating doesn't sound like Lazlo at all, and most of all, Edward did mention to him that his previous relationships ended because his exes started seeing someone else, knowing this why would Lazlo do something like that.

-Why would you do that? It wasn't working out? You can tell me

-no … It was fine but, I've been working on a clown show for a while with an old friend and, one thing lead to another, I didn't really think about it and we kissed during practice, and well, Edward walked on us. This sounds like a stupid excuse, like … it was an accident, but, we were getting distant Edward and I and I thought, maybe he doesn't love me anymore and, the other guy was there and I didn't want to hurt his feelings… Wow I'm writing this and I realise what an asshole I am. I don't have any excuses.

-You two didn't hook up

-NO! No I would never do that, besides, I still love Edward.

Lazlo typed that without thinking about it and regretted it. Not only he told Dave that he was gay, also that he used to see Edward AND that he's a cheater AND … That he's still not over him ..Like a coward.

-Kiss someone not to hurt their feelings … that sounds more like you

-I'm a coward

-Kind of yes … but everybody makes mistakes. Are you trying to win him back?

-do you think I can?

-Maybe, how long has it been?

-2 months

-Do you still see each other as friends?

-No … not really … I tried but …

-He doesn't trust you anymore?

-I think he hates me

-Do you mind if I talk to him? I won't tell him I talked to you

-okay … thanks

-Don't thank me I haven't done anything and besides… you really screwed up

-I know

Dave looked for Edward on his phone and texted him about the same message he text Lazlo

-Hey Edward, how are you doing? I was just wondering, how is it going between you and Lazlo? I know it's like a running gag with everyone, but even if you guys are not going out, didn't you use to be good friends at least? It looks as though something happened? Is everything okay?

\- No we're not close, it was just a joke

Dave though …'wow he's really mad at him', 'I have to think my strategy over'

-Okay good! Because we wanted to do a night out at the karaoke with the guys and since it seems Lazlo is seeing Patsy I wanted to invite her too and some girls, I wanted to make sure you weren't together or something.

-Lazlo is seeing Patsy?

'Victory!' Dave thought to himself

-Well I saw pictures on Facebook and they seem close, so, it's on Friday night are you going?

-I'll see

Edward responded a couple of hours later

-I'll be there, where is it?

Dave gave him the coordinates, told the guys to say they weren't coming last minute and basically, set Lazlo and Edward to meet each other alone without them knowing about it.

* * *

Edward was waiting in front of the station, got there by train this time, the guys were drinking like crazy every time he goes out with them and he didn't want to have to come back for his car the day after again. But it was getting close to the said hour and no one was there… He looked at his phone … they all backed off last second …

-Edward?

Except him of course

-Hi Lazlo …

-where is everyone?

Edward showed his phone to him, dentist appointment, called to work late …and

-Chip's pregnancy?

Lazlo laughed, Edward looked pissed, and he was seeing what was happening.

-Edward I'm sorry I think this is my fault

-You told someone?

-Yeah Dave, but I didn't think this would happen

-…

-Do you …want to leave?

-No … do you have an idea of something we could do?

-Yes!

Lazlo then took his hand and walked through the crowded area to the station, it was a reflex, he thought of letting go but Edward didn't try to take his hand away so held it until they got in the subway. Edward looked tired and exasperated. Dave set them up, did he even know why they broke up. Edward talked to him about his past relationships and, why they failed… Did he really think that Lazlo was different … or did Lazlo omitted to say why they broke up … Maybe he used the accident excuse or something …

They got out of the station, it was quite dark outside, and they were now in front of an amusement park …

-Is that where you used to work?

-Yes, this was my second job when I was in high school

-Second job?

-Yes, I wanted to prepare to move out because my father had to leave to take care of my grandma. I still wanted to go to school so I would work at the grocery store I talked to you about.

-The one that hired you before legal age?

-Yeah I was really glad about that actually. To make ends meets, during summer and holydays I would take extra jobs, which were, this park and painting contracts. Even if I started working early, my father didn't leave until he was sure I was okay so I was on my own around 17.

-That's really young to be alone (doesn't sound legal neither), why would you bring me here?

-I know it looks strange, but there is a new management recently and a lot of new things I want to see, also … I wanted to show this place to you …

Lazlo paid for two tickets, the girl at the counter seemed to recognize him but Lazlo was only looking at Edward and she didn't seem to want to interrupt. When they got away Lazlo said

-Since it's the end of the season, there won't be a lot of people here so … we have all the park for ourselves!

He then looked at him and smiled. Edward hated seeing him like this … Of course he still loves him but being there, in the place Lazlo met that other guy just hurts … 'is he doing this on purpose …' Edward thought, 'is this just to hurt me …' Lazlo simply said, as though he knew what he was thinking

-Don't think about it too much … I just want to have fun with you …

Lazlo then reached for his hand, held it, there wasn't anyone around so Edward didn't care too much

-I know things a quite tense between us recently but, you're still my friend and, I care about you

Edward felt pain in his chest, why did it have to be like this … He just tried not to think too much, brushed it off and let go of Lazlo's hand. With a more alive voice, confident Edward like tone, he said

-Okay … What do we do now?

Lazlo looked at him beaming. They went from an attraction to another, there were people in costumes, it was an end of season special but since it was quite cold outside there weren't a lot of people. Edward was his normal self again, making jokes and going around. They played wack a mole, Lazlo who played this game thousands of time in the past kept beating him, and Edward with his competitive mind set kept wanting a revenge and they ended up with a giant pink bunny to walk around with. There were fireworks at the end of the day, they even got places in the front, which you normally have to pay for, but the guy at the front let them in, Edward suspected that the manager who saw them around when they got there told him to do so and that he recognized Lazlo. No one stopped them to talk to him though. Maybe he's imagining things.

-Do you recognize people here?

-Yes and no, they know me but most of the time I didn't talk to them personally

-Why is that

-Ah, because I was a mascot, you know the big costumes we see? So they knew it was me but we didn't talk

-Is yours still around?

-No they had to throw it away, because someone smashed a bottle of something on my head once

-What?!

Edward looked at him in shock

''Yeah this place used to be really shady and not recommendable. Alex had big projects and wanted to be a comedian or something, well clown now, and we started out as cashers, cleaning up and arcade games, at some point I had the opportunity to become a mascot because someone got sick and didn't want to do it anymore. With Alex we thought we could do something fun with this and when he would be at the arcades we would have an act we would do, just fooling around basically. Kids loved it and it attracted a lot of people at the time. They gave Alex a clown costume and balloons to give out, and it became a small show in the park. Someone threw a bottle once because with the money the park made they increased the security to clean the park from trouble makers which provoked the said trouble makers (Lazlo let out a small laugh). They threw a bottle at me, it cut my forehead so I bled in the costume. I could have taken it off before ruining it but there were kids around and I didn't want to scare them, so I kept it on until first aid arrived. And you know the cutest part? A little girl stayed with us until then and put a band aid on the nose of my costume! It was adorable.''

Edward never heard of these stories before, Lazlo always said things like, 'I used to work there, I had a part time job there' but in the end, he always cared about what he did … It's not like how he says it, it wasn't 'just' a job. Maybe it was the way he said it, but how people treat him in the park just seems to confirm what Edward thought happened. The park got better profits because of the employees, better customers, better security and it got bought and restored and now it was a working and successful business. He was probably proud of that. Not to mention he helped his friend in his career. After all, Lazlo is building an act with him …

-How is your clown thing going?

-Ah I'm not doing that anymore

Edward looked at him surprised again

-Why is that?!

-Well... It never was my dream or … objective to begin with so …

Edward sounded concerned

-is it my fault?

-No! No … I … I found a job in the (made a dramatic commercial voice) ''tech support we buy and repair your computers shop!'' on the first floor of the studio where I live now. It's a bad name I know but … they're nice people … I'm not a clown or … a comedian, I think he called me because of the melancholy of it. I'm not really good either, well I could learn and the show looked fun, but… in the end I think this is the only thing that really kept me there.

Lazlo then looked across the water in front of them, some attraction were on the other side, all the lights were on, people were walking away in the night, laughing, holding hands, being happy. The place looked great, they had a great time.

-It just warms my heart to know this place is okay. There are a lot of great people here, and…

Lazlo looked sad for a second, Edward didn't understand why. This place is great, he has career opportunities, and friends who care about him, things to be proud of … he's popular with girls… and guys. He has everything he could want. Was he really seeing Patsy? Is he trying to 'make it work' like he mentioned before?

There was an announcement that the park was closing, they left and the last bus took them to the train station, where they had to split up.

-I'm going to walk home, Lazlo said

-Are you sure? You can come by if you want

-No, I'm fine, the weather is nice and I want to walk

-Do you want the bunny? You won it after all

-haha no, you can keep it

-What am I supposed to do with it?

-Maybe your niece would like it?

-ah she would love it! Good idea

Edward looked at the plush thinking how happy his niece would be and how angry his brother would look, not wanting the enormous plush in the way. Lazlo saw his evil grin and immediately knew what he was thinking about. He thought about how he loved seeing him with his brothers and how they got along, how proud he is when he tells stories or something he's done, confident. How he goes through his problems head on. If he'd been a little bit more like Edward to begin with, all this would have never happened, he would have found what was going on. He didn't try hard enough and now it was too late. He was going to miss this, he already was. He was happy he got to spend some time with him like they used to. He felt tears roll down his face and wiped them as fast as he could. Edward didn't seem to notice anything, it was quite dark after all. Edward's taxi arrived and he helped him put the bunny in the car seat (didn't fit in the trunk) and waved him goodbye. Lazlo started walking away. Only one thought kept coming back to him as he walked home. 'It's all over now'


	11. is Lazlo okay?

Dave texted Edward

-Hey Edward, we've been trying to reach Lazlo for camping and hiking, it was quite fun the last times but he stopped replying do you know if he changed his phone number?

-No I don't know, he doesn't reply to me either

-Ah you two still talk to one another? I always wondered what happened to the two of you

-well not much

-But at least you talk, at the time Lazlo told me you didn't even see each other as friends anymore.

-You mean before you set us up?

-haha that's not how I would call it

-What did he tell you at the time I was wondering?

-Not much, just that you two break up, and that it was his fault, cheating and stuff.

-What else

-Edward this is weird if you want to know ask him

-well he doesn't reply to me anymore anyway

-You think something happened?

-No, I'm just wondering what you guys talked about because after he completely stopped coming to my place and didn't want to meet anymore

-Well obviously you're not together anymore … wait …you guys still met after you broke up he told me you weren't?

Dave looked at Lazlo's text again, ''do you still see each other as friends …'' '' no not really''

-Well we would hook up sometimes

Dave couldn't believe what he just read. He was about to type what he thought about this but decided to call him instead, the call got declined. Edward texted him

-I'm at work what's the matter?

-Edward you heartless prick! I swear if something happened to Lazlo I'll never forgive you

Edward called him back

-What is going on?!

-We can't reach him and it's been weeks, how does that sound to you

-He wouldn't do something like that, he doesn't have any reason to

-Any reason too? He just got out of an horrible break up, feels responsible, still loves the guy, who uses him for sex and don't pretend like it's just sex, you know he's not like that

-Why do you even care so much! Did he hook up with you too?

-Edward shut the fuck up? You egoistical asshole! You know it wasn't like that, he told me everything and that you would even consider that cheating is beyond reasoning so stop your whiney bitch victim speech and tell me where I can find him NOW

-I don't know

Dave hung up, he tried to call Lazlo, he didn't pick up. Called Patsy, she went to see him a couple of times, got the address. She told him he was doing okay, that he just didn't want to see Edward anymore. So he told Patsy too, she's becoming his friend it seems, well he needs it. Knowing he was okay he calmed down, should he text Edward …no

He finally got to the place, they were closing for the day Lazlo invited him to his place, it was small but comfy single room studio, and they talked a bit. He was doing okay, he was moving on it seemed. Lazlo said he would answer his texts more often now, that he's happy he can trust him like that, that it wasn't easy…

-You still love him …

-I don't know

Lazlo looked broken, he still didn't move on, just mentioning Edward seemed like it hurt. Why would he still like him after all he's done, he feels guilty?

-Do you still feel like it was your fault? Because Edward is a jerk you know

-Well, yes obviously, not that Edward is a jerk, but it is my fault… I try not to think about it too much… I just miss being with him of all things, haha, I know this is ridiculous but, I like the jerk he is

He then smiled, he looked in a lot of pain, he said he would get over it and, that is was nothing, that he didn't want to worry him, and that he just needed time…

Dave eventually left, thinking of how of a nice guy Lazlo is …and that he doesn't deserve to be treated like this, even after what happened. He opened his phone, he had 5 missed call from Edward and a couple of text messages

-IS HE OKAY?!

-I'm calling you …

-Answer me I'm really worried!

-DAVE FOR CHRIST SAKE AT LEAST TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND HIM!

Dave sent the address with a ''he's okay'', didn't think too much about it, if Edward can still worry that much then … they should be okay.

* * *

Edward looked at his phone, Dave had finally answered him, and in the end he managed to find the address himself with the name of the place, which Lazlo had told him a while ago. But the address wasn't the only thing Dave sent

-He's okay, and he's over you so don't go bother him again.

Edward just brushed it off… He wanted to be sure everything was okay and, he thought about what Dave told him. Was he using him? No he wasn't calling him just for sex … They would just happen to have sex when he wanted to talk to him, and they never got to talk in the end …that's all.

Well, maybe he was using sex as an excuse to see him, but he never intended it to look like he didn't care about him. Besides, Lazlo wouldn't let him do that, would he?

Edward was at the door, he tried to call Lazlo but he didn't answer. He climbed the stairs, Lazlo said something about being on the second floor. Dave sent him the door number which prevented him from having to ask at the desk on the first floor. He didn't want to attract any attention after all, he just wanted to check on him. He just wanted to see him, he needed to. He knocked once. Lazlo didn't answer the door, maybe it wasn't the right number he checked again. No it was. He was about to knock again but Lazlo opened the door.

He looked very surprised. They stare at each other for a while. Lazlo broke the silence

-Why are you here?

-I just wanted to check on you, you weren't answering so …

Lazlo checked his phone.

-Ah the batteries are dead! sorry!

-…

-Hem, do you want to come inside?

-no I don't want to bother you I …

-But you came all the way, are you by train or car?

-By car

-Then you don't have to worry about the last train, come in

And he smiled at him and invited him in. Lazlo thought to himself, as Edward was getting in 'Lazlo, what hell are you doing you just said you were over him! You want to make it worse!?' 'But at least it's not like you went to see him… why is he here anyway?' Since the place was pretty small, Lazlo made Edward sit at his desk and himself sat on the bed. There was only one room and a bathroom, small kitchen space for a small fridge and a kettle.

Edward looked around, the place looked so much like Lazlo, unlike the first apartment he lived in. Despite being small it looked very comfortable. He didn't seem to use the main light of the room, but maybe this was because it was late at night. There were two night lights, dimer than normal house lights on each side of the room. There were dried flowers and weird looking objects on the walls, a little plant on the side of the window, and a metal statue in a corner. The place had a particular smell too, like old books or old people's house, maybe it was the lack of ventilation and the plants, the window was open after all. It was pretty well kept. There was pile of paper on his desk, some technical drawings of things Edward didn't understand and forests and nature sketches.

-What is this?

-I used to want to go in medical illustrations haha

-Really?

-Yeah but I gave up, it's a bit too academic for me I think… so, I just draw random stuff in my spare time

-You're pretty good at it

-Ah eh, thank you

Lazlo looked a bit embarrassed that Edward was seeing all these things, he wanted to learn to draw and write stories, but didn't really believe in himself, it was just a hobby, what he would do with his spare time. There was a long silence, not uncomfortable but quit long. Edward was just looking around. Lazlo wondering what they should talk about.

-Do you want coffee? I can make some down stairs.

-hem, okay, do I wait here?

-No you can come there's no one there.

They went downstairs where there was a real kitchen, an employee cafeteria. Lazlo pulled out some coffee and simply said

-You look great

It took Edward by surprise, what should he say?

-Hem, thank you, you too, I mean, you look more like yourself

-Thanks? What is that supposed to mean?

Lazlo chuckled and served two cups of coffee and sat across from him. They talked about what they did in the last couple of months, Lazlo asked about the other guys, and

-Are you seeing someone?

-No, I was thinking of taking a break from relationships altogether … are you?

-No …

-…

-Did, Dave sent you?

-why would he do that?

-I don't know I never really understand what he does

-You saw him today?

-Yes he looked really worried I don't know why

-He thought you might have committed suicide

Lazlo looked at him without reacting, completely frozen, like he was processing it

-I would never do that

-That's what I said! But he yelled at me and, I got worried too, I mean, I didn't hear from you in a while and, you started ignoring me and… (Edward was talking fast and blabbering)

-I'm not ignoring you

-…

-I just, don't think seeing each other like we did was healthy and…

-did Dave tell you that?

-What? About what?

-Did he tell you you should stop seeing me

Lazlo hesitated, Edward looked frustrated, something probably happened between him and Dave.

-No, I chose that.

There was another long silence. It was getting awkward. Lazlo was worried about Edward. Why was he even there to begin with? Why would he care about not seeing him again? It's not like he wanted to maintain a friendship when they broke up, or give him another chance. The only thing Edward would want from him …

-We should go back upstairs

Lazlo said. Edward followed him, there were so much things he wanted to ask him. Why he brought him to the amusement park that night, why he didn't follow him. Edward always thought Lazlo was trying to get him back but he just stopped at some point. Of course he didn't want Lazlo to chase him or something, but it felt strange that he would just give up at that particular moment, he wanted to know what made him change his mind. Lazlo closed the door behind them.

-Lazlo there's something want to ask you

He didn't let him finish he pressed his lips against the other and kissed him. Edward didn't move an inch, petrified. 'He just wants sex. He's just here for sex, he doesn't care about me.' Lazlo thought. He took Edward by the hips, closed the lights and placed him on his bed. Edward didn't know what to do. This felt really strange to him. Lazlo started slipping his hands under his clothes.

-Lazlo, what are you doing?

-this what you wanted right?

Edward looked agitated, but Lazlo didn't quite get it, why would he be nervous that's what he wants right? They've done this tons of times before. And so he pushed him in bed while kissing his neck and placing his hand between Edward's legs. He was now terrified he pushed Lazlo away, starting to panic. Lazlo just stood there, not fully understanding what just happened. Edward got away from the bed, messily readjusted his clothes and said

-I'm leaving

-Edward I'm sorry I didn't think …

Edward interrupted him, he sounded very distant while saying that

-No it's okay, I just need to leave …now …it was nice seeing you

And Edward left as quickly as he could closing the door behind him 'don't follow me' he thought to himself 'don't follow me' he didn't look behind him, took his car and drove back home. Why is he always running away like this? He knew Lazlo would never hurt him but this was just too strange. Dave was right about him …


	12. On the other side of the door

Lazlo just stared at the door. It was getting quite late, he opened the window and looked outside. He didn't see Edward or his car, he probably already left. He looked at the street for a while. The place was in the middle a residential street, there were some other stores around, pawnshop, hairdresser, the stores that sell everything and anything. There were some puddles of water and the air was humid. The window was just next to his bed so he could open it and just rest his upper body on it and breathe fresh air. He would do this at night sometimes, during the day he didn't want to bother people walking by, staring at them like a creep. That's probably what Edward thought he was, a creep. Living in a filthy, small apartment, with a random not paying job, doing nothing, 'wasting my life away'. Lazlo thought of Edward and his family, his brothers, and parents, his place, his job, all the things he had. 'Am I jealous?' He wondered. Maybe he was. Who wouldn't be.

Lazlo tried to lay in bed, trying to get some sleep. But he could only think of Edward, and how he screwed up …again. He should go apologize, maybe that would be even creepier. Edward would see him like a weirdo, a stalker or something. Lazlo started to get frustrated with himself. 'I was fine before he came here why do all these things come back now' It was as though just seeing him was enough. 'He didn't change at all' 'I wish things weren't as awkward as they are now' Lazlo frowned, he hated pitying himself …I wish, I wish… I'm just a coward afterall. He opened the light, looked around for his phone (which he charged), 4 am. He wondered if Edward was sleeping, was he going to work today. He thought he might go see him, to apologize and talk. 'no no no, that would be too weird' He looked around. 'why was he even here to begin with'' was he really worried that I might kill myself for him?' ' he said Dave yelled at him, I wonder what that was about'

Lazlo though about suicide, 'no I would never do that'. He looked around, but could it get worse than this? Edward never judged him for what he was doing or his job, but Lazlo always felt embarrassed being with someone as successful as him. He didn't feel like his equal. He felt like a part of him chose this job and this place just for the fact that it was stable, and normal. If he'd met Edward now, in these conditions, it would probably work out better. If he had a second chance, none of this would have happened. He wouldn't have cared about the other guy's feelings, hell, if Edward taught him one thing it was to be more selfish and just … go for it. Lazlo stopped his train of thought for a second. He felt as though, maybe Edward might feel the same way, that if they started over again, then maybe…

He wasn't there for sex like Lazlo first thought, he was genuinely worried about him. What kind of impression did seeing him like this gave him. Did he look like he was doing okay, or horribly wrong? Trying to sleep with his ex and not moving on wasn't a good sign. Did Edward really think he would kill himself, that's crazy. Lazlo just couldn't get his head around that one. 6AM, hours were going by without him even realizing it. He didn't get any sleep, he wasn't tired. He showered, dressed up and got downstairs. He told his manager he might come by a little late because he had something to do. Days were slow for the business so they didn't really care.

Lazlo left for the train station, paid his ticket and went straight for Edward's apartment. He wondered if he was still living there, there was no reason for him not to. Edward usually left for work around 8AM so he did have time to catch him before he left. He didn't know what he wanted to tell him, he couldn't think of anything clearly he was just following his guts. He wanted to see him, he felt like he needed to talk to him and it just couldn't wait. This already waited too long.

Edward just woke up, since he didn't get much sleep he decided to call in sick for the day. They could manage a day without him, anyway he would keep his phone nearby just in case. He started playing the piano again recently. Bought a digital piano (money was not a problem for him) and started practicing again, just for fun. It's something he always envied Lazlo about. How he could just do the things he liked, without even thinking about it. Everything he does, even as small as they seemed meant something to him. He was living humbly, a normal and nice life and he just felt as though everything he gave him was suffering and … He just thought about how Lazlo kissed him, how he didn't even seem to care about the kiss. Dave was right on that one, Lazlo definitely thought he was using him for sex. Edward felt horrible about that, disgusted with himself even.

Edward didn't really care about the other guy anymore. Of course he was mad that Lazlo betrayed his trust like that, but he did believe he didn't have any intent on cheating on him. Thinking about it he felt like he might have been the idiot in this. The thing that hurt him the most wasn't even the kiss, but how happy he could be with someone else. What does he have in common with him, what did he do for him? All Edward ever did for Lazlo was robbing him from all the things he loved and cared about. He felt as though he didn't give Lazlo the love he deserved, that somehow …it was his fault and that Lazlo was right not to trust him. That guy, meant more to Lazlo than Edward ever did, and so him saying that it meant nothing, really hit him at that moment. He thought, 'maybe to Lazlo, I'm just another ex, someone he didn't even have feelings for to begin with…'

He heard knocking on the door. He got up, thinking it was probably his neighbor wanting to talk to him. He opened the door and Lazlo was there. He had a harsh look on his face, looked tired. Edward surprised asked him

-What are you doing here?

-I need to talk to you

-Right now? Did you even sleep?

-I'm sorry about what happened yesterday I, shouldn't have tried to force myself on you

Edward looked away for a moment, looking troubled.

-It wasn't like that… did you just come here for that?

-No I, ehm, wanted to know why you came by

Edward crossed his arms, still looking away, starting to feel uncomfortable, he was still kind of feeling guilty about the using him for sex thing.

-I was worried I told you that

-No you know me, you know I wouldn't do something like that, why would you come by

-It was Dave I …

-This has nothing to do with Dave!

Lazlo shouted, Edward thought this was getting weird he tried to change the subject

-Lazlo this isn't the time for this I think you should leave …

Edward tried to close the door but Lazlo took a step forward to try and keep it open, he wanted to push the door open but hit it by accident, making a loud noise and by consequence a very unpredictable looking movement. It startled Edward who stepped back instantly. Lazlo realized what he did, saw how he scared him and immediately took a step back in the hallway feeling horrible

-I'm sorry I just

-What do you want me to say?!

Edward just snapped, still a little shocked by what just happened, just said the first things that came to his mind.

-That I miss you? That I still love you or something? Is that why you're here?

-Maybe?

I caught Edward off guard, Lazlo was looking at him, with a strange conflicted expression on his face, a mix of guilt, anger and fear. He continued

-If that's how you feel then yes! Tell me! How DO you feel about me! Just tell me you hate me already!

Edward didn't know what to say, he thought Lazlo looked really scary right now. Not because of what he was doing but mostly because how he never saw him like that, he could see he was really emotional about it. He had no idea what he was going to do. Lazlo passed a hand on his face, taking a deep breath. With no answer he asked again, a little more calm this time, a little more desperate this time

-Do you still love me? Because if you don't I'll just walk out right now and never bother you again

-It's not like that …

-Then what is it?

Lazlo looked directly in his eyes now, he felt like he had a chance, and he didn't care ho desperate he looked, if Edward thought he was crazy, a creep or if he didn't want to see him ever again, just for the small chance of being with him again he would throw everything away.

-Lazlo I don't know

Edward had his arms crossed, in a self-comforting way, he honestly didn't know what to say, he wasn't prepared for this. The only thing he could think of was 'of course I still love him'

-Of course I still love you but, I just, I don't think this can work

-Why?

-I don't trust you

-Because of that other guy?

-Yes and a lot of other things too …

Other things? Lazlo never heard of being other problems before. He wanted to ask him what these things were but instead asked

-Is there something I could do to gain your trust back?

Edward was getting nervous and didn't know what to do, he tried to change the subject

-Why would you come back now anyway? Why is it so urgent now?

-Because I always thought you hated me after what happened,

Edward didn't want to hear this

-Lazlo, leave, I don't want to talk

-You want me to be honest or not? You say you can't trust me but you don't want to hear the truth?

-Lazlo don't …

-I would do anything for you

Lazlo was getting desperate, he wanted Edward to give him a chance, or at least, tell him why he didn't want him back

-Tell me what you want from me

-I don't want anything from you

-That's not true

Edward had a hand on his forehead, he was getting tired of this and wanted it to end. He was getting irritated and then said

-You know what, okay, I'll take you back if you do all these things

Lazlo was listening intently, he would do anything for him. Edward thought about it for a couple of seconds then said

''First, I want to know how long you knew the other guy had feelings for you, before the first time he tried to kiss you and why you didn't do anything about it. Like, were you seeing each other all that time?

Second, I want to know why you're so ashamed of your sexuality and what you're hiding from me''

Lazlo flinched and Edward hated himself for bringing this up

''Yes what you're hiding from me since the beginning and still to this day, what happened to you. Why did you freak out these two times and why didn't you want to talk to me about it. Because If you can't trust me, then why should I''

Edward felt like an asshole, he didn't want to put him on the spot like that but he knew he wouldn't answer these questions, he just wanted the conversation to end. He added one last thing, the last thing that bothered him all that time…

''I also want you to come out and tell your family, I don't want to live in secret all the time''

If Lazlo did all these things, then he would take him back. Lazlo looked thorn apart, he was just standing there, looking at the ground. Edward was looking at him with a severe look, like he didn't care. Lazlo was hesitating, should he tell him or not. Maybe this wasn't right anyway. He started second guessing himself. Edward was getting impatient and irritated with him, this is just a joke to him, he's not taking this seriously.

-Edward I, I just need some time

He knew it, Lazlo didn't change at all and this was all for nothing, Lazlo didn't trust him, so why would he

-You have all the time you need

Edward then closed the door on him, he was through with this, he just wanted to move on. There was a silence, Lazlo was about to hit the door in anger but stopped himself mid-way, placed his hand lightly on the door instead, he knew Edward didn't leave the door on the other side and started talking. He had to hurry, this was his only chance, and there is no going back now. He started talking at a fast pace, loudly to begin, to be sure he could hear him.

''I knew all along he had feelings for me, I just didn't care, he was just an old friend to me, and it happened tons of times in my life to have friends who developed feelings for me, I look easy or something. So it wasn't anything new to me. Since I felt we were drifting apart I just used him to feel better about myself. We never saw each other before or after, I just didn't care about him, and believe me or not, but I could only think about you when I kissed him. I still …can't stop thinking about you''

Lazlo tried to stay on track, he was drifting, kind of avoiding the real question here. He heard Edward on the other side move, probably turned around to face the door, he listened a couple of seconds more to make sure he wasn't just walking away. Nothing more, he was still there.

''My mother died when I was pretty young, I didn't get to know her because she was sick all the time. My father would take care of her and would let my grandmother take care of me. Since she lived far away, one summer my dad decided it would be better just to send me to camp instead. That's where I met you guys. I had a great time that summer. My mom died a couple a weeks after I came back. It really got to my father and he started taking jobs outside the town where we lived. He would leave for weeks at a time and so needed someone to take care of me. So when I was around nine my uncle would come over for the week and leave when my dad would come back …''

Lazlo paused for a moment, Edward was listening intently, he never heard of this before and, he could hear Lazlo's voice get a bit shaky

''And so, my uncle would… sexually abuse me during these times… It lasted for about a year. I never told anyone, they found out because of bruises on my body and stuff. My Dad he … almost lost custody of me, I just remember, how alone I was during the process. Because they thought he was neglecting me or knew about what was going on so they didn't let me see him for a while. I spent a couple of days in hospital, then a couple of weeks at Raj's place, because his mother convinced the police that they could take care of me. ''

(He paused for a moment) Edward was just standing there, still trying to process what he just heard, did he really just hear this

''I always felt like I shouldn't have told anyone, that I deserved what happened. My grandmother also never believed my Father, she thought it was all made up. So even if my Dad was always there for me, even after what happened…

Lazlo's voice cracked, he cleared his throat, let his hand fall down from the door.

-I don't know how he would react and … I didn't want to lose the only family I have.

Edward heard some ruffling behind the door, he couldn't let Lazlo leave now, no way, he didn't care about anything now except clearing their misunderstanding. He quickly opened the door, Lazlo was still there, on his phone. He had tears on his face, still looked very serious. Who was he even calling at a time like this? He looked directly in Edward's eyes when talking

-Hi dad, call me back when you have some time. There's something I want to talk to you about. It's very important.

He then hung up, he tried to reach his dad?

-I'll do my coming out when he calls me back … is this enough?

Why would he do this, Edward couldn't understand, why was Lazlo still there, it didn't make any sense to him.

-Edward I, I'm really sorry about what happened and, I regret it. You mean a lot to me and …

Lazlo reached for his hand, he wiped the tears from his face with his other hand. Edward couldn't take it he just rushed in his arms. He felt so bad he put him through something like this, he should have gave him some time he probably hates him now and

Lazlo just held him firmly in his arms, he didn't want to let go. This is the only thing he wanted, to hold Edward in his arms. He felt tears roll down his face again even sobbed a little, but he didn't care. He tried to calm himself down, he's not done yet.

-Edward?

-I'm sorry I put you through this

-Edward are we, are we back together?

-Yes

-Then I don't care


	13. a normal day

Lazlo let go of Edward, rubbed his face with the back of his sleeve. He felt so much relief, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn't even know it was weighting him that much until then. He momentarily lost balance and his vision blurred. The lack of sleep was getting to him. Edward was holding him up now. He didn't fall down but almost lost consciousness. It would have been bad if he did thought, he would have fallen down the stairs. Edward helped him inside and made him sit down. Lazlo mumbled something about having to go back to work. Edward looked away for a second, ''let me at least drive you there''.

When Lazlo felt ready they left, stopped to buy coffee, for Lazlo, but also for his coworkers, he thought they might appreciate it and they did, he did go the extra mile to buy their favorite and the fancy coffee for Caleb. Edward said he would come by to pick him up in the evening. Since Lazlo didn't have a lot to do he spent most of his day sleeping at his desk. Not intentionally, but the others didn't wake him up. It was a slow sunny day, a relaxing day. When he left again at the end of the day he felt like his manager must have wondered what was going on, but he didn't really care, he probably looked horrible.

When in the car they talked for a while. Edward told him he didn't want to start on a bad foot, and he wanted to make clear he didn't resent him for what happened, and that he just wanted to start over. That's pretty much how Lazlo felt too, he still thought it was his fault they broke up in the first place, but believed Edward when he said he wasn't mad at him. Lazlo also suggested they avoid having sex for a while. It perplexed Edward, but after he said how he didn't feel comfortable about it after what happened the day before and the weird time in between, he understood. '' I think you're right'' he said. Edward was listening to Lazlo, it was a little strange to talk so objectively about their relationship, but at the same time, they needed it. Lazlo also asked to stay at his own place until they were ready. '' I don't want to rush anything this time''. Edward felt as though they were discussing this now because if it didn't work, there would be no other times and no excuses, it would have really not worked because of who they are and not circumstances. Probably why Lazlo wants to stay at his current apartment too, in case it doesn't work? Lazlo fell asleep in the car, he looked exhausted. Edward thought about how distant Lazlo was with him, didn't look directly at him since the morning. Was he playing it safe, or maybe he was uncomfortable?

When they got there Edward suggested he should sleep but he said he wanted to spend time with him. He asked about the piano. Edward was a little embarrassed about it. He used to take classes when he was young and wasn't that good. Lazlo didn't ask him to play but did say he'd like to hear him at one point. They talked for a while but Lazlo looked too tired. Edward asked him

\- Would you like to stay for the night?

-I don't know

\- I won't try anything. I just kind of miss sleeping next to you

Lazlo expression changed and he finally looked at him. Edward felt really embarrassed about what he just said, it sounded kind of creepy. He felt his face becoming red.

-Okay

'Okay?' Edward was surprised of his answer. Lazlo briefly smiled. They then went to the bedroom, first, next to one another, then a little closer and Edward just gave in and placed himself in Lazlo's arms who seemed hesitant at first but wrapped his arms firmly around him. He missed him so much. All day he didn't really believed that they were back together and he was just starting process it. He didn't know how he felt about it. Was this the right thing to do? '' I love you'' Lazlo's heart skipped a beat. Edward did tell him he still loved him earlier that day, but this time, this time he really meant it. Isn't it too early for him to say something like that? Shouldn't he still resent him, at least for a little while? Lazlo responded with a shy '' I love you too'' and held him in his arms. All this time he thought Edward hated him for what happened, and now he was in his arms again, somehow still the same. He didn't care if it didn't last between the two of them, but this moment, having Edward in his arms like that, was the only thing he ever wanted, the only reason why he did all this and he was going to cherish every second of it.

* * *

A couple of days later when Lazlo arrived at work his manager said he wanted to talk to him in private. The others seemed to be agitated and on their guard, in the main room, Caleb looking for something outside? They both went to a back room where he closed all the curtains and only kept a dim light opened and with a very serious look on his face asked him

-Lazlo are you okay, do you have people looking for you? We can hide you, you know.

Lazlo didn't quite understand what was going on

-What are you talking about?

-The man you were with the other day, are you safe? I saw them on camera, they come by in the night right?

-What?

Lazlo blinked, the man? Is he talking about Edward?

-Are they harassing you? Do you owe money? We don't have much but I think we can help you … We can call the police for you if you want

He then realised what Edward looked like to his manager, coming by in the night, Lazlo leaving at unusual hours and unusually tired, getting dropped to work by a mysterious man with sunglasses a suit and fancy car …

-What? Eh no don't call the police! This is not what you think…

-No Lazlo … We understand…

-No clearly you don't!


	14. Father's call

The morning after Lazlo received a call from his Father panicking

-Lazlo are you okay!? Were you crying? What is going on I can come over now if you need it, I'm coming over today I'll buy a ticket for a plane wait for me okay? I'll be there now.

-No no it's okay!

-I'm sorry but a'' Lazlo's I'm okay'' doesn't mean anything I'll be there today, do you still live at the same place?

-No I don't want you to come over I just wanted to talk to you

-About what? Are you okay?

-I'm okay haha calm down

-Don't laugh I'm dead worried!

-I'm sorry, everything is fine now, it's a little long to explain but, I've been seeing someone recently and, I wanted you to meet them?

-They make you cry? That's not a good first impression

-Well it's a long story, but well he's called Edward you see

-Ah…

-Yeah

-Do I remember that name?

-Remember?

-your friend from camp right?

-hem yes? Is that weird

-No, have you, dated other men before?

-Well, yes and no, nothing serious, until now

-how long

-Well, We've been seeing each other for about a year, then we broke up and got back together, well yesterday… I know this sounds strange

-So that's why you were emotional, did he force you to make your coming out?

-Yes and no, I really wanted to, how can I say this, I was hesitant at first

-I can see why you would be hesitant to tell me, I mean, you've been through a lot. He must be really important to you.

Lazlo didn't respond, he didn't know what to say

-Lazlo?

-Yes?

-When you have free time, can you call me more often? I mean if it's not an inconvenience for you.

-Y…Yes I will… You're not mad?

-No! No of course not…

There was a short silence between the two of them. Lazlo's father then started

-You must think I'm a terrible person to believe I'd be mad about this... I know we never talked about it again but you know, I'm really sorry about what happened when you were young. If you hate me for it I'd understand but, I want to be there for you and,

-I don't hate you

Lazlo interrupted him, he just couldn't let him say something like that. It was so far off the truth, he never hated nor even slightly blamed him for what happened, it just wasn't true. Lazlo heard him let a nervous chuckle on the other side. There was a little of emotion in his voice now.

-You know when I heard your message I've never felt more horrible in my life I thought something happened to you and I wasn't there, you know, and I love you from the bottom of my heart and ...

There was another short silence, Lazlo's father was probably trying to calm himself down

-I'm sorry you wanted to tell me about your boyfriend and here I am all emotional with you

-No it's okay… Do you remember when we would go to the amusement park together? You would buy me the giant cotton candy and I would not eat even half of it and make a giant mess? Then I would fall asleep in the car on our way back and you would carry me home. You know I always faked sleeping just to get carried home haha. That was really fun. And sometimes we would go to the beach and there was the family of four with whom we played volley ball all evening and had picnic with, that was a lot of fun too. Do you remember when I started drawing a bit and you bought me nice pencils and sketch books. You know I still have these and I still use them. I remember one time I got back from school a little bummed out because I wasn't doing so good and you told me that it wasn't a race and, that I just could take my time, and that there was nothing wrong with it. You told me to do my best and that I could just try again another time if I wanted. We then went to the hot dog place and had ice cream afterwards and I remember feeling really relieved and I felt like everything was okay.

-And you passed in the end! You were so proud

-Yeah! I tried really hard after that, I really wanted to do my best, I didn't feel as much pressure as before you know. I have, tons of really nice memories with you. You were the best father I could have ever wished for.

-Wow are you trying to make me cry

-Ah! Sorry! No I was trying to make you feel better!

-It's okay don't worry, it did make me feel better, thanks.

-I love you Dad

-Lazlo, I'm so proud of you

-You don't even know what I'm doing with my life!

Lazlo's dad laughed

-No I mean, you really grew up to be a nice, caring and loving person. I mean you always were, but now that you're older, it just, I can really see who you are. You remind me a lot of your mom. I can't wait to meet the person you chose to spend your life with. I have high expectations for this Edward! Also, what ARE you doing with your life!

They talked for a while, Lazlo told him about the circus, the part time jobs, school, how he lived with Edward for a while, the studio where he lives now, his new job, the drawings, everything. How they would go hiking and camping with the other guys from camp, how his life was coming around. They didn't talk in a while when his dad left to take care of his grandmother, Lazlo was quite busy but also didn't know when to call or what to say, but now that they were talking it felt so natural. He should have called him a long time ago. His father then told him stories about his grandma and how she was starting to go crazy and how it was somehow hilarious because she thinks he's a waiter of some sort. Lazlo wasn't sure if it was funny at first but the stories were hilarious. She was quite old and Lazlo felt as thoughts his dad didn't like her all that much, partly because of what happened. But he was taking care of her anyway. Lazlo didn't dislike his grandmother despite everything, he was still a little worried and so didn't really question why his dad would spend the time to take care of her, he was even a little glad he was, he would have felt bad letting her all alone. They ended the conversation and Lazlo got back inside, they did talked for a couple hours.

Edward was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee reading something on his laptop. They both had the day off and so Lazlo thought they could do something, the day was nice and sunny. He thought about what his father did when he was young, a lot of activities and they would go outside a lot, meet people. He build up their relationship one day at the time, with several good memories and he always supported him. He thought, maybe I could do the same with Edward.

-Hey do you, want to go to the beach?


	15. Edward's workplace

They were now in winter, Edward had forgotten a suit case at home that he needed, he didn't have the time to go pick it up so texted Lazlo to see if he could bring it to him. Lazlo had a more flexible schedule and told him there was no problem and he would be there in 15 mins.

Lazlo left work earlier said he would come by in the evening to finish up some things. '' as long as the job is done I don't really care when you're here'' Was pretty much how his manager would say it. Lazlo went home, found Edward's suit case, looked up the address again and left.

It was snowing outside and quite cold when he got out. He eventually found the place, it was the first time he went to Edward's work place, he didn't really know how to introduce himself when he got there, maybe he should just ask for Edward and not introduce himself? Leave them the suitcase, or maybe he could text him, no it would be more polite to ask at the desk like everybody else. When he got there he asked for Edward, the secretary asked him with a strong but easily intelligible accent his name, if it was for an interview

-Oh no, I'm Lazlo, I have his suitcase.

Lazlo then internally face palmed, he didn't have to specify it was his suitcase, she could probably piece together that they were living together now. Again, Lazlo didn't know if people at Edward's workplace knew he was gay and didn't want to bring attention. The secretary called Edward, told him someone named Lazlo was there, asked if she should send him. He heard Edward's voice on the line, the secretary told Lazlo he would be there in a moment. Lazlo saw Edward come down the stairs in a hurry, he had a dress shirt and a tie on, he immediately, with no hesitation went to hug him, He said ''thank you you're a life saver'' he took the suitcase and kissed him on the cheek. He then said he had to leave and would see him later and left. Lazlo was a little surprised, he didn't think it would go like that.

The secretary was looking at him with a hand over her mouth and a little smile, seeing Lazlo was a little flustered by the gesture, she said

-Oh you're Mr. Edward's boyfriend aren't you? Lazlo right?

They talked a little, there was no one around. She told him something along the lines of ''you two don't look like it'' She probably meant it as a compliment, as in they didn't look feminine like some guys do. She told him how much she thought Edward was a nice manager even if he didn't look like it. She asked him if he was always frowning at home. Lazlo thought that was quite funny as Edward doesn't really frown when he's with him, but he somehow didn't have any problem imagining him frowning all the time at work. The small talk made him feel a little more comfortable and they waved each other goodbye. As he crossed the door he heard her tell him ''until next time Mr. Lazlo!''

As Lazlo was walking away he had the largest smile on his face, it felt quite nice to just go there and have Edward showing him instant sign of affection in public, with no hesitation, it was validating. He was now more confident that if something similar would happen the other way around he would do the same for him. Lazlo felt really happy, it was strange to him as he thought it seemed really natural to Edward to do so, maybe that's what he was most happy about, and he kind of wanted to show everyone he was with him now. It felt liberating, like it was real for the first time. He hid his smile in his scarf as he was walking back

The next day when Edward got to work, like so many days after that, his secretary greeted him with a

-How is Mr. Lazlo doing!

* * *

Edward was very surprised about the direction their relationship was taking. It was going surprisingly well. In the beginning they talked a lot about Lazlo's childhood, he looked like he didn't like doing so but in the end it improved how they communicate in general. They talked about a lot of more trivial things or worries later on. Lazlo looked a lot happier and relaxed. He must have been worried Edward didn't really want to start over or something, but he seemed honest and Lazlo decided to trust him, if he couldn't trust Edward, then he couldn't trust anyone.

After all he's the only person who really made the effort of trying to know him, and help him, besides his Dad of course. The more time they spent together the more Lazlo thought that Edward felt like family to him. They would go out a lot, Lazlo had a more stable job and more free time, they would go shopping, try restaurants, and stop for coffee. Edward told Lazlo that he wanted him to personalize their apartment. Lazlo was still technically living in his studio, but since he would spend most of his time at Edward's place he said he would like him to move in gradually.

Edward bought him a working desk, Lazlo would draw most of his free time, he apparently wasn't aiming anything but Edward thought, knowing Lazlo, that he'll probably somehow make this his career if he kept going. He was improving really fast, so the desk became a mess quite rapidly. Lazlo asked if it bothered him if he hang things on the wall, Edward said no, he thought he was going to put drawings on the wall in front of him for reference like in his old place, but Lazlo actually hang pictures.

One recent of the both of them when they were camping with Dave and all the others, one of himself as a teenager with his Dad, they had a giant fish in their hands, another one of a young lady, he said she was his mom, she did kind of look like him. Lazlo mentioned he wanted to put a picture of them at camp when they were young but looked everywhere and couldn't find it. Edward remembered he still had it and gave it to him to place with the others. Edward picked a couple of pictures he had of his family and hung them as well. It was a little cheesy but he didn't care.

The day after Lazlo received weird looking blankets with geometric patterns on it, his Dad sent them to him, who bought them from a nice old lady who made them by hand. They were quite nice, well made, soft and colourful so Lazlo wanted to place them somewhere they would be seen. He placed one on the couch and another one on the bed. Since he still had a little time on his hands before Edward got home he started cooking. Lazlo usually get home after Edward but this time he told him he had a couple of things to finish at work and would be late. He didn't really mind. He took care of the plants and cleaned the place a little. Opened the windows to let air in, washed the bed sheets, it was the first warm days of spring and the days were longer so it was still sunny outside.

When Edward got home there was still light outside but the sun was setting. When he opened the door he stayed there for a second, the place somehow looked very different. Not much was changed but the air smelled nice, he heard Lazlo in the kitchen, the windows were opened. The interior lights weren't on because of how bright it still was outside so the place had a reddish orange color. He saw the blanket, pictures, and one of the weird looking things that he remembered seeing in Lazlo's apartment. One of the plants from the kitchen was now near the couch, it looked somehow a little messier but a lot more lively and peaceful. He liked it a lot, it felt like home.

He took his tie and his jacket off and went to the kitchen, Lazlo was humming something, he was wearing black joggings and a T-shirt with a green apron which used to be from one of his previous jobs. Edward thought 'note to self, never buy a pink apron, he would probably wear it'. Lazlo greeted him with a smile and placed the table, they ate and talked about their day. Edward was sitting there, trying to remember all those times he got home to an empty place. He looked at Lazlo smiling and thought how nice it was to have someone at home and smiled back. 'I could get used to this'

They went to bed early, they both had to leave early in the morning. They snuggled for a bit but the extra blanket made way too hot to be comfortable. Edward got frustrated and kicked all the blankets away and went back in Lazlo's arms, who laughed at the gesture.

-You know, we probably shouldn't hug if it's too hot

Edward just brushed it off and stayed where he was, he could be stubborn when he wanted to, not that Lazlo cared that much. Lazlo then started rubbing his back and caressing his hair, as a reflex, he would do that often but this time Edward tensed up and shifted a little. Maybe he was uncomfortable because of the heat. Edward then placed his hands under Lazlo's shirt, pushed his pants down a little to caress his back. 'well, maybe it wasn't the heat' Lazlo just let him do what he wanted. They did say they should avoid having sex for a while but they didn't specify how long, also making out doesn't count right?

Lazlo reached to kiss Edward, who saw the gesture as an encouragement. He placed himself closer, intertwined their legs together. Edward didn't want to go too fast or make Lazlo uncomfortable, he didn't want him to have to push him away. Lazlo felt Edward's erection on his thigh and moved his body on the other's to create friction. He could feel Edward getting flustered and desperate. He kind of liked seeing him like that. ''Laz?'' He didn't respond, he wanted to keep making out for a while, having Edward in his arms, aroused and sensitive… vulnerable.

Edward wasn't sure what he could and could not do, he definitely didn't want Lazlo to push him away, but wanted him so badly, ''I'll do anything you want'' Lazlo didn't know how to respond, maybe he was going too far with this ''Maybe we should stop'' Edward clung to his shirt ''no …please?'' Lazlo let out a nervous laugh. Edward regretted saying that and felt a bit pathetic, but Lazlo kind of liked seeing him like that. Edward was always proud and would rarely let himself be vulnerable around him. Lazlo was feeling confident and said ''okay'' and told him so sit on his lap, they still had their clothes on. Lazlo thought he would take a chance and asked for something daring. ''Touch yourself'' Edward was on top of him, he could feel Lazlo being hard, Lazlo added, ''I'll watch you''

Edward wasn't sure at first if he should do as he was told. He felt like it was a little humiliating to do so, then thought about what he said about doing anything he wanted, 'if that's what he wants'. Edward pulled his boxers down and with a hand caressing Lazlo's stomach and the other one on himself he started masturbating. Lazlo was surprised he did what he asked him, looked at him for a while, caressing his legs and body to encourage him a bit, enjoying the view. He looked up at his face, Edward looked extremely embarrassed, not looking at him in the eyes and his cheek and lips were really red. Lazlo thought it was kind of cute and sexy at the same time, but didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. He sat up to place his mouth on Edward's neck, kissed him gently running his finger on him, maybe he was enjoying this too much, he started to second guess what he was doing. He could hear Edward's uneven breathing now, his skin and warmth and decided it was probably okay to keep going if he went slowly. He then said to Edward's ear, as softly as he could ''Do you think about me when you touch yourself?''

Edward felt shivers down his spine, he didn't know if he was enjoying this or not, it felt really good but kind of strange at the same time. His thoughts were hazy from the desire building up and answered without thinking about it '' yeah, all the time'' He could hear that Lazlo was getting really into it, he was a little more impatient in his movement and his breathing was faster. ''do you like this?'' Edward wasn't sure about that, he felt really exposed '' I don't know'' Lazlo heisted for a moment but then licked his fingers and placed his hand between Edward legs, teasing him a bit which made him moan ''better?'' Edward couldn't think clearly anymore he just pulled Lazlo shirt to kiss him, who took it as a yes. He started pushing his fingers inside him, Edward broke the kiss and let out a loud moan '' shhh, the windows are open remember'' Edward tried to put his hand under Lazlo's clothes, he stopped him ''no not now'', Edward thought about how nice Lazlo's voice sounded, he was talking to him very softly, almost in a reassuring way. Lazlo then flipped him over so he could look at him better, still fingering him he placed his other hand under Edward's, stroking him. Edward didn't know what to do with his hands anymore, Lazlo didn't want him to touch him after all. He passed his hands on his own body, lifting his shirt, just letting the pleasure sink in. He was trying to keep quiet but couldn't keep himself from moaning more and more. He had wanted this for a long time now and felt himself getting close. As he was about to say it Lazlo kissed him, Edward felt the orgasm building up tried to say something but Lazlo was firmly holding him down in the kiss. Edward felt himself tensing up and getting weaker, he stoped thinking and just let go.

Lazlo felt Edward ejaculating in his hand, finally broke the kiss. ''Ahh… ah that's what you were trying to say'' Edward knew he did that on purpose, 'I'll get mad about it later' He was still feeling hazy but wanted to return the favor to Lazlo. They switched places Edward was now on top of him, he started by kissing his neck then slowly making his way down his body. ''you don't have to do this'' Lazlo said. Edward didn't listen to him pulled his pants down and placed his mouth on his erection. He was very gentle with him, they didn't really have a lot of oral sex in the past. It wasn't something Lazlo would naturally do nor ask for. Edward thought for a while that maybe he just didn't like it, but seeing him now it clearly wasn't the case.

At first Lazlo would look at him occasionally and caress his cheek and hair, but when he met Edward's eyes he would look away. 'is he embarrassed?' He clearly was enjoying it but the eye contact avoidance worried Edward enough to make him stop a little. ''are you okay?'' Lazlo quietly said yes. Edward thought about kissing him but stopped mid-way, maybe he wouldn't want to, Lazlo noticed it and placed his lips on the others, licking them so he would open his mouth. While kissing him he passed a hand on his neck and chest. When they broke the kiss he said ''I'm not disgusted by my own body'' Edward briefly smiled like he got an idea, and went back down on him. He felt Lazlo's warmth and his body tensing and making small sudden movements. Lazlo had a hand in Edward's hair and the other holding his hand. Edward's mouth felt warm and soft, Lazlo was getting close, he told Edward, who just kept going. He wanted him to cum in his mouth.

Edward heard Lazlo softly moan and warm liquid in his mouth. Lazlo was feeling his body becoming limp, still feeling the orgasm, he was out of breath, he felt Edward's lips on him, French kissed him, it felt a little sticky. Edward placed his fingers in between their lips to inside Lazlo's mouth, twirling them around, making sure he tasted it. Lazlo was starting to realize what was going on, snapping out of it. Edward then ran a finger on his palate which tickled him, it made him pull his head away. He placed a hand over his mouth, there was a lingering taste left in his mouth. Edward just stayed there for a second, then agitated, looked for tissues ''I'm sorry I went too far, I didn't think about it I …''

-No it's okay

Lazlo then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, he had already swallowed whatever was left in his mouth. He let out a nervous laugh ''Well, that never happened before'' Edward didn't know what to say he tried to joke about it'' Well, I had to be your first for something'' It made Lazlo giggle.

-That wasn't how I pictured things would happen

-You started it

-but did you like it? Did I go too far?

Edward looked away, he felt his cheeks getting red again ''no, it felt nice'' ''besides, I'm the one who went to far…''. Lazlo joked around a little ''Next time you want to try something daring, can you give a little warning first or something?'' Edward just brushed it off. ''You didn't really give me a choice neither you know''. Lazlo said a small ''sorry, I won't do it again'' and a ''I'm sure I can make it up to you''. Edward took Lazlo's shirt off, he wanted to cuddle and feel his skin, he thought he smelled nice too. Lazlo had his hand in Edward's hair again.

-You always have your hands in my hair

-I can't help it it's so soft and pretty

-Pretty?!

Edward looked at him flustered and decided to sleep on his side of the bed

-What's the matter, oh should I have said looking good, handsome? Sorry I don't see blond hair often

-It's really common to have blond hair Lazlo!

-But not like you! I like it

Edward had both his hands on his head, as though he wanted to hide it. Lazlo hugged him from behind, spooning him. Edward felt restless. He got out of bed '' I don't feel like sleeping anymore'' He then walked toward the door. ''Wait! Me neither'' Lazlo got up and followed him.

-put a shirt on

-You're the one who took it off from me a second ago.

-I …I changed my mind!

Lazlo put his T-shirt back on. ''After all the things we've done you're getting shy about a T-shirt?'' Edward looked away his face getting redder ''shut up''

Edward thought about it for a second. It wasn't like the other times, yes it was a little weird but, the first thing he thought about was how much more intimate it felt. That's what he was getting embarrassed about. He didn't know if it was just because of the unusual things they did or because a long time had passed since the last time. He wondered if maybe it was because of how their relationship had changed in the last few months. He felt as though it was probably the later. Lazlo hugged him from behind again, this time they were standing up and in the living room, he placed one of his hands in Edward's hair again. Edward felt like pushing him away but instead said

-Your love is suffocating

-Well, you don't need to breathe anyway


	16. one year later

A little over a year passed by, Lazlo stopped renting the studio when they realized he wasn't living in it anymore. He was once again living with Edward. He really felt as though they were doing better this time. He would take him out often, they would spend long days together doing nothing, laughing. They would go see Edward's parents often too. Since they had a big family now, with Edward's brothers having young families, they would make barbecues in the summer, invite everyone over to the pool and so they could all see each other and talk to one another. It wasn't anything official, so they wouldn't all go at the same time even if it did happen a couple of times.

Edward's family really seem to like Lazlo, there was no issue about the fact they were gay. After all, one of his brothers already made a coming out before Edward years ago so it wasn't anything new to them. One of them seemed surprised but didn't seem to think too much of it. He mentioned something about thinking Edward was more of a family person but didn't insist. Maybe he thought Edward would be like them and have a family and a wife or something.

The kids loved Lazlo and always wanted to play with him. Edward's brother's wife liked him too, she would talk to him about everything and anything, her relationship and asked about theirs, give them tips on how to save the forever dying cactus. Thinking back on it Lazlo wondered if she was still talking about the cactus for a while, it didn't sound like cactus instructions. Edward mostly stayed at the table talking with his brothers. At one point that day they all burst out laughing and when Lazlo looked in their direction Edward looked very embarrassed, saw Lazlo in the distance and avoided eye contact.

When they got back home that day they were pretty tired, spend all day in the sun and playing. Edward had a strong tan, sunglasses and a dishevelled look, with his shirt wrinkled and his beige shorts and sandals

-You look like a young millionaire

-Just stepping out of my yacht, lighting my cigar with a hundred dollar bill.

Edward just turned to him to give him a funny smile with the gesture of lighting a cigar. Lazlo tried to keep his eyes on the road while laughing. He had his driver's licences now, it was more practical since they would do road trip sometimes and drive for days at the time. They talked for a while, then Edward simply said

-You know, I think getting back with you was the best decision I've ever made.

Lazlo stayed silent for a while, he wasn't prepared for that. He didn't know how he felt about it.

-What do you mean?

-Well … it wasn't my decision alone but you know, I've never been happier than with you.

-ha …really?

-Yes, did I say something wrong?

-no it's nothing

Lazlo tone was completely different, he didn't know why but he felt his heart beating faster. His Father went to see them for the first time a couple of weeks back and he seemed to really get along with Edward, he said he would come by more often too. Lazlo loved Edward so much and always felt bad about what happened and just hearing him say that 'he was happy' meant a lot. When they told the camp crew they were supportive too, all positive feedback. He was really surprised about that, everything was going so well.

Edward could see something was wrong, in the years he knew Lazlo he could tell when he was hiding something. Lazlo seemed lost in his thoughts, not paying attention anymore, suddenly silent. When they got home Edward asked to talk to him. They were now sitting on the couch in the living room.

-Laz, what's going on?

-I'm sorry I don't know

Lazlo felt tears on his face and could stop himself from sobbing a little and placed a hand over his mouth trying to hide it, Edward pulled him closer and hugged him trying to comfort him, he waited for him to calm down a little and rubbed his back.

-Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry

-No I, I'm just really happy

-I hate to break it to you but you're crying

Lazlo smiled and chuckled

-Now I can't tell if you're laughing or crying

-I'm crying because of your terrible jokes!

-Oh hey!

They laughed and joked around for a while. Lazlo was feeling better now and said

-You know I always felt bad about what happened, it's like, you saw the absolute worst in me, parts I didn't want you to see.

-I don't care about that you know

-I just can't forget it.

-Then … I always felt bad about using you for sex afterwards

-It wasn't like that

-I just can't forget it

-ha well, I deserved it

-of course not

They were in each other's arms and Lazlo felt Edward holding him firmly. He really meant everything he was saying. Lazlo felt bad he was crying at a moment like that, they had a great day and he just ruined it for something stupid.

-I'm sorry, this is stupid

-No it's not

Edward then placed some distance between them so he could look at him

-I love you, and I mean it. I'm not pretending to like you or something why would I even do that.

Lazlo nodded, He felt ridiculous, but, hearing Edward say it out loud made him feel a little better. He remembered something

-Hey, do you remember when we were in camp and you left in the night, I followed you

-Ah yes, I tried to run away and got both of us lost

-Yeah after the mailing yourself didn't work haha

-I might have just frozen to death if you didn't follow me you know

-Yeah who would have thought it was so cold at night, after a rainy day in fall…

-Okay I know I didn't think it through then, I was a kid you know

-I'm just joking a little. I cried like a baby so I shouldn't be talking right?

-That's why you thought about it? We're like in a similar situation

-Kind of yes, do you remember what you told me?

-Not really do you? I remember you told me about your family a little, that your mom was sick and you were afraid of being alone …

-Yeah …

-What did I say? Something wise?

-Well, you said that everything always gets better, and that sometimes it might just take some time haha and I would never be alone because someone would always be next to me. I think you meant that there's literally always people around you in life.

-Well that sounds stupid, I think I just didn't understand what you were going through.

-Yeah but you know, it stayed with me for a long time after that, I felt like I was fine even when everything was horribly wrong, and I realised that when it gets worse, it's also when it starts getting better.

-What do you mean?

-Well when we talked through the door before getting back together, I feel like, you saw the worst of me, and I didn't really care back then, I was really desperate, and now everything is fine.

-Yeah but it's worth it you know.

\- haha, Also… when I was in hospital, was the moment I was most afraid of for the longest time, I had no one. But it was also the end of a lot of suffering you know. I was safe there and I didn't even know it yet. And I didn't really think about you back then, but I kept thinking, it always gets better, and waited.

-That's kind of sad

-Yeah but, it made me feel just a little bit better, and when it did get better, I don't know I felt really hopeful, and happy. That's what I wanted to tell you at the reunion party, not all my life obviously, but like, how when you comforted me that time, it helped me on the long term.

-You wanted to talk to me at the reunion?

-Yeah, that's why I asked Dave if he could stall for time because somehow I couldn't reach you

-What?!

-Oh you didn't know?

-No I didn't! You mean all the things Dave did from getting me drunk to the drinking games was for us to talk?

-Yeah? It didn't really work thought, we ended up sleeping together instead.

-Wow we really need to stop having sex instead of talking, it's been a problem a couple of times now. But more importantly, Dave what the hell…

-couple of times?

-Yeah after the break up, the times, well the first time at least, that I asked you to come over, I wanted to talk to you. But I didn't know what to say and, well, on the moment I thought having sex would be a good excuse to see you instead.

-really?

-Yeah it was horrible

-No I mean, you wanted to talk to me, why?

-I wanted to know if we could make it work, well we can, we are! So that answers it

-You weren't mad?

-Yes I was, but, I just couldn't get over you, honestly, which was also why I got so worried when I felt like I wouldn't see you anymore.

-Ha, wow okay.

-Hey don't get too happy with yourself!

They laughed and decided they were quite tired and went to sleep. They cuddled for a while and Lazlo felt a little more relaxed than usual. He thought to himself 'am I always stressed and I don't realise it or something' and remembered all those times Edward made him feel better. He didn't have to get through everything by himself anymore.

* * *

The morning after they were at the kitchen table eating breakfast. They both had to go to work that day but would always wake up earlier to spend a little time together before leaving. Edward woke up a little later than usual but it was okay. Lazlo smiled at him, Edward then asked

-Are you feeling better?

-Ah yes, sorry for yesterday, I feel like I'm all over the place recently and I don't know why

-No it's okay. It happens sometimes I guess. What are you even thinking about

-My Dad mostly, I really feel like I didn't understand all the things he did for me until recently.

-You want to see him more often?

-No, I don't know. I talk to him all the time you know, so it's okay.

Edward thought about what his brother told him the day before. Maybe that's what Lazlo is missing. Of course it's way too early for them to seriously discuss something like that …but maybe just mentioning it …

-What's going on?

Edward became silent for a while and lost in his thought. He snapped out of it, his face became red and he just avoided the subject all together. He then stuttered his words a little

-I-I-I need to go now.

-Oh okay … have a nice day

Lazlo smiled at him, stood up to hug him good bye and as Edward was about to leave he stopped at the door, 'maybe I should just ask him'.

* * *

They were at Edward's parent's place again. His mom asked them to come over so Lazlo could look at her computer, she said it wasn't working anymore and she didn't want to lose the pictures in it. When they got there Edward went to talk to his brothers, Phil and Eugene. They were both living there, paying a rent to their parents to stay. It was a normal and acceptable thing to do in their family, they were basically taking care of their parents and staying since they both didn't have respectively a girlfriend or a boyfriend to go live with, so there was no need to move out.

Lazlo was now alone in the room with Edward's mom. He did talk to her in the past but never alone. She asked how they were doing, mentioned how happier she thought Edward looked. Lazlo didn't really know what to say. She told him how he became a lot more distant when he grew up, how he wasn't like his brothers and even if she knew he cared for them, he wouldn't talk much. She asked how he was doing basically.

Lazlo told her he would read most of the time, especially if he was alone at home. He told her about the piano, she looked very surprised.

-He always hated playing the piano!

-Really? I feel like it's the only thing he does when I'm not there.

-I'd like to hear him! Is he still shy about it?

-I only hear him when he thinks I'm not listening.

She had a big smile on her face. She told him stories of when he was small, mentioned how he loved his doll what was her name again? Lazlo remembered it ''Ah Veronica'' She looked at him for a second.

-Ah that's right you used to be friends in camp! So you knew him at the time.

Lazlo told her they weren't really friends in camp but got to know each other only recently.

-But you knew about Veronica, so you two must at least been a little close, he used to hide it a lot.

Lazlo told her they would see each other in secret. She looked at him with a hand over her mouth and a small smile. Lazlo realized how that sounded and quickly tried to correct it

-I mean not like that, but we would talk about things we wouldn't with others

She then mentioned she heard Edward had other boyfriends before. Apparently Edward never told his family he used to see other people, not even that he was gay, that was recent for them. She told him it worries her that during these times he never tried to reach them, not even once. She said how when he was younger he would easily get angry and talk a lot but at some point it stopped and that it always worried her. Because you don't get angry at things you don't care about, so him not interacting with them anymore felt as though he stopped caring altogether.

-You know, he thinks he can go through hard times alone and tries to hide it. I mean, I guess he could but he doesn't realize how easier it is to have someone you trust by your side. He's always been more empathetic and sensible than his brothers, he's trying to act tough to make up for it but he's like everyone you know, he has insecurities and weaknesses. He would probably be really mad if he knew I was telling you these things.

Lazlo thought about it for a second, it did sound like him. Edward was really straight forward with him in the beginning about how he didn't want them to have secrets and all. Maybe he didn't want Lazlo to do what he was doing with his family. Edward knew it was easier with someone, he just cared so much about his family, his role in his family that he didn't want to worry them or bring unnecessary attention on himself.

-I think I'm a little afraid he might not like us that much, that he doesn't want us to interfere in his life you know? Well, he doesn't need us anymore, he's a lot stronger and he can stand on his own now. He just grew up so fast.

She giggled but looked kind of sad.

-He cares about you guys a lot

She looked at Lazlo, he was still working on the computer but just said his thoughts out loud.

-If he doesn't talk about certain things I feel it's more because he doesn't want people to worry about him. He loves you guys a lot, he talks about you all the time. Each time we come here he always looks really happy to. Also I think he does call Eugene for advice sometimes, I hear them talk once in a while. I always thought it was kind of nice how they can all count on each other like that, I don't have any siblings but I can tell that it's rare.

He turned around to look at her, she had a smile on her face still but also tears flowing down her cheeks. Lazlo took a second to react he reached for the tissues and gave them to her. She giggles and felt a little ridiculous to cry for something like that and how immediate was Lazlo's reaction. He hesitated but offered a hug to comfort her. She stayed in his arms a little then said ''you're so nice''. As she was calming down Lazlo let go of her and Edward passed the door he had tea for them. He stopped in the door way, his mom was wiping her eyes with a tissue, he could tell she'd cried, he looked at Lazlo troubled and worried and put the tea on the table.

-Is everything okay?

He then walked around the desk to be next to her, she let out a small laugh ''don't worry about it I'm okay'' Edward next to her had a hand on her back as comfort and she turned around to hold him in her arms. They briefly hugged, Edward was looking at Lazlo wondering what happened, she then let go of him, said ''I'm okay'' and smiled. She asked Lazlo how the computer was going.

-Oh, everything should be fine now, all the pictures are still there so don't worry.

She told them she would send them some as she had pictures of them together. Showed them and, as it was getting quite late, said they should go back home. She gave them pies she made and they all waved them goodbye.

They were now in the car alone, Edward looked worried and stayed silent for a while, then finally asked

-What did you guys talk about?

Lazlo didn't remember exactly, he didn't think about what he said at the time, at least not thoroughly.

-She asked me how you were doing and said she was worried that you didn't talk to them about you problems more often. She said she was afraid you might not like them, and I told her it wasn't true, that you do care and love them …basically.

Edward was looking at the road, it was quite dark in the car. He was tapping his fingers nervously on the wheel.

-I think I never saw her cry before

Lazlo didn't really know what to say '' I'm sorry''. Edward then said ''no it's okay''. He passed a hand on his face and took a deep breathe. He then took Lazlo's hand and held it firmly. Edward then started

-We don't really hug or touch each other in my family. It's not like we don't like one another, we just don't do that. You can't just, cry or feel bad without a reason, maybe I'm just imagining things. I've always felt like, I had to be someone to them? That I didn't matter until I proved I did. They never told me they had expectations of me but I felt it, from how my brothers were already all ahead of me in life and didn't seem to have any problems. I don't know how to explain this, I just couldn't make any mistakes.

-It sounds like a lot of pressure, I can't imagine living like that.

-Yeah, I saw you're really close to your Dad, we're just not like that, well, I thought we weren't

-But you talk to your brothers right?

-Yeah, Eugene and Phil mostly because we're close in age. I think that if I pieced together all the conversations I had with Mel per example (the oldest, Edward being the youngest), it would last less than a couple hours and it's not like we didn't spend time together you know.

Lazlo didn't really know what he could do for Edward, he didn't really understand it. He did have some struggle with his family, but his Dad had always been there for him, Raj too. He tried to wrap his mind around it, feeling lonely while being surrounded by people. He never knew Edward had these kind of worries before. He remembered what Edward told him when they were young ''you can't feel lonely, there's always people around you'' It somehow sounded a lot sadder now. It used to mean hope for Lazlo, but from Edward's point of view it almost sounded like helplessness. It sounded like Edward didn't understand Lazlo's struggle back then because he felt like he didn't have the right to feel unhappy or dissatisfied with himself. Lazlo thought, 'that's why he doesn't reach out to me when he needs it, he feels like he doesn't have the right to feel bad or ask for something, like I would value him less if he did'. They stayed silent for the rest of the ride. Lazlo felt kind of sick to the stomach, thinking that Edward probably hides how he feels and his worries more often than he thinks. The weeks that came by after that Edward would call his mom often to talk about everything and anything.


	17. Lazlo's familly

_Autors note: I think I need to put a disclaimer before this chapter as it can get a little graphic. It's the story of Lazlo's childhood, which has been mentioned in previous chapters. It depicts, not directly, but through the eyes of Lazlo and sometimes Raj, child abuse and how he got out of it. I know putting this here makes Edward's struggle with his family seems shallow, but the both of them have similar backgrounds as they both lived a good part of their lives feeling alone. Even if they were always surrounded by loving and supportive parents and friends, they've had some problems adapting later on because of some basic needs not being met. In Edward's case it was physical affection and communication and for Lazlo safety and trust. So don't read this chapter if this kind of content is sensible to you, I've written the story in which way you won't miss any important plot point if you don't. I just wanted to put it out there. Thank you._

* * *

Lazlo was sitting on his bed. His Father just came back from work and was making the dishes. Lazlo was spacing out and didn't hear his Dad come in the room.

-What are you doing?

Lazlo, startled tried to find something, like a book or something to make it seem as he was actually doing something.

-You seem to be thinking a lot recently, what's going on? Is it about school?

Lazlo didn't know what to say, he looked around a bit and didn't respond. His Dad sat next to him and hugged him.

-You can tell me

Lazlo didn't know if he could, he just avoided it.

-Everything is fine

-It doesn't look like it

-I just …

-You just?

-I don't want you to leave?

Lazlo heard his voice crack, he couldn't hide he was crying anymore. His Dad just hold him, told him everything was okay, that he would be fine and then said.

-I know you feel lonely, I thought about it a lot and I decided that I wouldn't take jobs outside anymore, this is the last time okay?

-okay

Lazlo couldn't sleep that night, he knew his uncle would come over the next day and he thought he would tell his Dad everything after he came back. He said it was the last time, Lazlo thought he might not have to tell him at all if it was true. Still he didn't feel like he could get through it one more time. The last time his uncle came over he tried to stay at Raj's place as much as possible.

He knew it was kind of a strange thing to do but he would ask Raj if he could spend a couple of days with him and each time his Mom would call his uncle and ask him if it was okay, each time his uncle who didn't want to be found out would say yes. Lazlo would get it worse the nights he would ask to leave but have a couple of days of safety afterwards so he thought it was worth it. His uncle who didn't like him leaving and talking to people would go the extra mile when he came back to make sure he understood it would be worst if he did it again. ''I'll do that thing you hate if it happens again''

Lazlo didn't want that to happen again. His uncle would make him use his mouth on him and sometimes hold his head to put his sex deeper in his mouth and it felt so disgusting. Lazlo remembered he even threw up one time. Lazlo remembered the first times his uncle started touching him, he used to be nice with him and not do much, and he didn't really understand what was going on and just froze, waiting for it to stop. The shame that came afterwards was horrible. He felt like he didn't have any control over his body and every time his uncle touched him, it felt gross and how it kind of lingered on afterwards as thought it was still on his body.

After a couple of times, his uncle probably realised he wouldn't tell anyone and started saying things to him, about how disgusting he was for liking it, about how disgusted his Father would be if he told him and that he might as well just take it. After all, he was only just an inconvenience for him, and if his uncle wasn't there, he would truly be alone. He insisted a lot on how people would think he was disgusting and his Dad not loving him anymore, and that's why he was leaving him behind.

''it would be better if you weren't there at all, might as well be useful''

''Imagine if he saw you like that, he might just never come back''

''I could easily kill you right now and no one would know, they wouldn't care and your Dad would be glad about it''

Lazlo remembered screaming for help, the weight of his uncle holding him down and the pain.

* * *

Lazlo took the habit of wearing a hoody to school when his uncle was at home, he knew he had some bruises on his arms sometimes, especially recently because of the couple of times he went to Raj's place. Raj noticed he was acting differently, he did ask him a couple of times if everything was okay and Lazlo simply would say ''I'm just tired'' Or ''I just miss my Dad''. Lazlo was horribly scared that Raj might tell someone and he would never see his Dad again, so he would go the extra mile to make sure him, above anyone else, wouldn't see the bruises.

Lazlo was in his room, his uncle has been living there for a couple of days. Lazlo thought only a couple more and it will be over. He didn't know if his uncle knew that, probably not. Lazlo was a little scared about what happened the times before so thought that since it was the last times he would just do as he said and not think about it too much and not try to go to Raj's place. His uncle told him he didn't want to hurt him but if he tried to fight back like he did a couple of times now, that he wouldn't have a choice.

Lazlo felt pressure on his side, like a pain when he took deep breathes, he thought it was probably just sore, all his body was recently. He went to school as usual, leaving before his uncle would wake up. Raj looked at him strangely that day, Lazlo tried to act natural. He had a little trouble moving around, his side still hurt and he couldn't move freely. As the day passed it got worse, an intense, unbearable pain in his side.

That day at school the teacher wasn't there due to poor health and the students were told they could go back home or just stay and have free time to talk and play. Most of them decided to go home, Raj asked Lazlo if he wanted to come over, that they could call his uncle if he wanted.

-how did you know my uncle was at home?

-The hoody, also you look gloomy.

Lazlo felt a little stressed, Raj didn't seem to realise why he was wearing the hoody when his uncle was there but he didn't like that he was making the connection, it meant someone else might as well.

-Are you okay?

-Ah yes, no I want to stay here.

-You want to stay?

-Yes …

-Why?

-I don't want to go home

-So come to my place

-I don't want to leave

-Then I can call

-I don't want you to

Raj didn't quite understand why Lazlo was being distant with him. He talked with his Mom about it, how he was worried, she told him it was probably only adolescence, or that he was just lonely, and that being there for him would be enough, also to tell her if he noticed anything else.

-Okay I'll stay with you

Lazlo didn't know if he was happy or alarmed by the fact that Raj wanted to stay. They played games with the others and talked for a while. Lazlo was getting agitated that the hours were going by and he didn't want to go back home, but knew that if he left with Raj he wouldn't be safe afterwards. He was getting anxious that Raj, who spent the day with him, did so because he was worried, and that if he told his Mom, she would call to check if he was okay, and his uncle would know he avoided going back home and so on.

The hours were going by and Lazlo thought it might be best if he went home earlier in case Raj's Mom did call, it wouldn't seem like he avoided his uncle but more like he naturally went home after playing with his friends. He told Raj he had to leave, Raj suggested to walk him home but Lazlo insisted he did not. Raj knew something was going on but didn't insist.

Lazlo got outside by the back door of the school, he didn't want teachers to ask him questions or attract attention on himself. He was trying to walk normally and trying to ignore the pain. There was a couple of older kids there looking at him from a distance, they made a comment about him always wearing a hoody, to poke fun at him. Lazlo tried to walk away but they grabbed him by the sleeve

-Where are you going, we just want to know what's wrong with you

Lazlo panicked, screamed and pushed them away, he fell on the floor. The kids didn't intend on scaring him that much and took a step back not understanding why he reacted so violently. Raj ran to him to see if he was okay, apparently he followed him. Lazlo tried to get up and run away but instantly fell again, hi side hurt so badly from the sudden movement that he lost his breath for a moment. He tried taking a deeper breath but it was falling short and very painful, his vision would blur and go to black, he couldn't think clearly. Raj told the older kids to go get someone, screamed at them to, to be exact and helped Lazlo sit down. They didn't say anything, but Raj could see how scared Lazlo was, his arms were crossed, his hands trembling and he was looking down, horrified. He was agitated and couldn't stop thinking, 'they're going to find out, and I'm going to die'.

The lady at the reception desk went to see if everything was okay, Raj tried to help Lazlo up, he had a hand on his side which hurt when he moved around. He knew they would all know something wasn't right, but he just couldn't get up otherwise. She made them sit inside while calling the school nurse, she asked Lazlo if one of the kids hit him, he said no but nothing more. Raj knew the kids didn't hit him he saw what happened and told her.

They went to the nurse's office where she asked him to take his hoody off so she could see his side, to see if something was wrong and he said no. She made a gesture as though she was about to take it off from him which startled him. He abruptly took a couple a steps back to prevent her from doing so, he looked horrified. Raj was still there, wasn't going to leave anytime soon, he didn't understand what was going on. The lady from before was there too, the nurse and her looked at each other for a second, they were starting to get the whole picture.

The lady left the room, the nurse asked him if he would want Raj to leave as well, he said no. He didn't want to be alone. She reassured him she wasn't going to do anything to him or hurt him, she just wanted to see what was wrong with his side, and that everything was going to be okay, that his friend was there for him too. Raj agreed, he was worried and didn't understand what was going on, why would she specify that she wasn't going to hurt him?

Lazlo was looking down the whole time, he just couldn't run away now, they would call the police and it would be worse. He thought there was a chance it wasn't as bad as he thought it looked and decided to take it off. He was wearing a tank top under it, it took a moment for the nurse to do something and Lazlo really felt exposed and as though they were staring at him. Raj didn't say anything, he just stayed there, Lazlo wondered what he thought of him at that moment, but he just couldn't look at him to see. He was too ashamed.

The nurse lifted his shirt and pressed gently on his side. There was a bigger bruise, she felt it was tender and that he probably had a broken rib. She saw other bruises on his stomach and pulled his shirt back down. She told him he could put his hoody back on to lay down and wait for her to come back. She looked at Raj and didn't know if she should tell him to leave or not, he looked worried but determined to stay, didn't say anything and was quite calm, she thought he might be a good support and before leaving told him to stay and take care of his friend and that she would be back in no time, Lazlo heard all that of course, and felt his heart beating faster, she knew.

They were in the afternoon, still during class hours, so Lazlo knew his uncle wouldn't suspect anything for a while now. Raj didn't say a word from the moment he helped him up and realised he was hurt. Lazlo wasn't even thinking about him anymore, just about how he was going to get out of this.

-Does it hurt?

It surprised Lazlo, he thought that Raj would've asked something like, what happened but no, the first thing he asked what if he was in pain. Lazlo didn't know if he should lie or not, decided not to, Raj already saw his body and he didn't see why he should hide anything from him now.

-Yes, especially when I breathe

-So it always hurts

-Kind of

-Your arms too?

Lazlo looked away, so it did look that bad. Raj looked mostly worried but Lazlo could see he was also mad.

-sorry

-Why would you be

Lazlo didn't say anything, he didn't understand how he was supposed to act at the moment

-How long

-eh?

-How long have you been hiding this?

-a while…

The nurse came back at that moment, she told Lazlo there was some people she wanted him to see, that they could talk to them and he could trust them with anything he wanted and that they had a couple of questions to ask him. She then addressed Raj and asked him if he wanted to stay, and that it might take a while and she could call his parents if he wanted. She saw they seemed close and that Lazlo was probably going to be alone for a while now until they knew who did this to him and who they should call.

While Raj was outside calling his Mom, a police officer went to see Lazlo asked him who was at home, and if he had someone to call. Lazlo told them his uncle was at home but he didn't want to call him, that he would like to go home at normal hours like nothing happened. They looked surprised, but Lazlo didn't want to be an inconvenience for his Dad and didn't want to call him either. They asked him technical questions about who takes care of him and his routine from day to day. Lazlo told them about his Mom's death and his Father going out of town, then his uncle. They asked him if his uncle was nice to him. Lazlo hesitated, but then thought, Raj would trust them, Raj wasn't disgusted with him so maybe this is the right thing to do.

-No not really

-Our friend here told me you have bruises on your body, did he do this to you?

Lazlo hesitated again, he was getting scared and agitated

-We want to help you, there are a lot of people here who love you, and want you to be safe, so we need to know who did this to you, was it your Dad?

-No, my uncle

-Does your Dad know about this?

-No

-Did he ever hurt you too?

Lazlo thought about it for a second, it did happen once. When his Mom's sickness was getting worse, his Dad was more impatient and at one point grabbed him by the arm to tell him something and when letting go of him he lost balance and fell on the ground. He told them about it, also about what his uncle does, how it started and what happened recently. Lazlo told them he would be suspicious if he didn't get home in time, and that he would punish him for going to friend's place and avoiding him, the police men left the room for a second, got back and told him they would go find him and that he was safe now, that he could trust them. He asked him how he felt about his Father

-I miss him a lot, but I don't want him to know

An ambulance arrived at school, some students seemed curious and saw the police cars. Raj got in the ambulance with Lazlo and the police officer, his Mom told him she would go find them at the hospital. Raj remembers seeing Lazlo cry a lot in the ambulance but in a strange way, silently, he had tears on his face but rest of his expression seemed very distant, neutral and tired.

* * *

Lazlo was at the hospital alone, it was the middle of the night and he couldn't fall asleep. They told him he should sleep on his side if he could, gave him some breathing exercises. A lot of people came to talk to him, he didn't know them, the only persons he knew were Raj and his Mom who would bring him things to eat and talk to him. They were a lot nicer than Lazlo thought they would be.

Lazlo was looking at the time and outside the window, he was sharing his room with an old man who wasn't coherent and couldn't move from his bed. He still didn't see his Dad, a couple of days had gone by and he knew that he would have normally already been back home. He wondered if they were keeping him from seeing him like his uncle, if they thought he was dangerous. One thought kept coming back to him, that maybe he just never came back, that he did know what was going on and didn't care about him, that he lied the last time he left and never planned on coming back. Or maybe that's his punishment for not being able to wait for him. Lazlo never asked about his Dad when he talked to the officers, or the other lady. He didn't want to know, what if what his uncle told him was true, he just couldn't even think about it.

Lazlo felt extremely tired, but couldn't sleep, his eyes were heavy, his body sore, everything felt numb to him. He decided to sit down to think. At first he tried to calm himself down ''it always gets better, it might just take some time'' He felt as though he should have ran away that time even if Raj was there. He could have made up an excuse the day after. Maybe if he did go to Raj's place and then went back home, it would have been worse that night but he would be with his Dad now, and everything would be okay. Lazlo wrapped his arms around himself, trying to imagine his Dad holding him. He hated himself for telling them, he should have kept it secret. ''It will get better… it has to''

He doesn't know if he can trust them, he doesn't know if he can trust anyone. They probably don't really care about him neither, they just do what they think is best for him. They don't know what is best for him, the only thing Lazlo wants, is to be with his Dad again, and not worry about his uncle, or money, or about his Mom, or anything. Lazlo felt his breathing getting faster, he felt like the only thing his Dad wanted from him was to be patient, to not bring any more trouble and he failed, he couldn't even do that. And now he was alone, he deserved it, that's what he gets from telling them.

He felt his hands shaking and tears on his face, the pain in his chest, he was starting to panic, he felt like he was dying. One of the nurses saw him and reacted quickly, she asked him what was going on, tried to comfort him and hugged him. The only thing Lazlo was able to say was that he wanted to see his Dad and that he was sorry. She stayed with him for a while until he calmed down. She gave him something to help him sleep and comforted him until he did so.

The morning after, the lady, who's been talking with him for a while and that he would see every day, asked him if he would want to go live with Raj and his Mom, that they offered to take care of him until everything is sorted out. Lazlo thought he would like living with them better than being alone for another night. Raj's Mom was a nurse herself after all and that's probably why they thought it was a good idea. The lady started asking him questions about his Dad, and how he felt about him, if he wanted to go live with him again. Lazlo hesitated, he said that he would like to live with him again and that he misses him. The lady took notes when he was talking which gave him some hope, that he might see him again at least.

Raj's Mom came to pick him up, it was day time so Raj was probably at school. It was decided that Lazlo would not attend classes for a while and recover, that when he would be ready they would see what they were going to do. She gave him a backpack in which she said she had some of his clothes, he wondered if she went to his place for that, and if his Dad was there, but didn't ask. He felt like talking too much might do the opposite of what he wanted and stayed silent.

When they got there, she showed him the room where he would stay, she also mentioned that if he wanted or if he felt alone Raj could also stay there and keep him company. She told him he was worried and wanted to do something for him but didn't know what so if there was anything he could think of he would do it for him. Lazlo wondered how much Raj knew, his Mom probably told him a couple of things but Lazlo never really did himself tell him what happened. His Mom definitively knew everything, she was very caring and talked to him a lot. Lazlo said he didn't want to do nothing like when he was in bed in hospital so he helped her with chores and diner.

They were folding clothes when Raj got home. They went to play video games after diner then Raj asked if he wanted him to stay with him, in the guest room. Lazlo said it would be nice, he didn't want to be alone, and maybe Raj being there might help him fall asleep. They talked for a while, his Mom told them goodnight. Lazlo said he didn't mind if they slept in the same bed so they didn't make one on the floor. He thought it would have been strange to ask him to stay and make him sleep on the floor. They talked for a while, Lazlo seemed sad and a little agitated when they weren't doing anything so Raj hugged him to try to comfort him. Lazlo felt safe for the first time in a while and all the fatigue and accumulated stress got out of him in a rush and he fell asleep in his arms, he knew he could trust Raj.

The days that followed were similar. Lazlo was thinking that this was probably what his life was going to be like now. Raj's Mom seemed to know what was going to happen with him and he didn't question it. Maybe she did know what was best for him better than himself, she was making a lot of efforts to make him feel safe and at home.

The lady from the hospital would come to see Lazlo quite often but not every day now to check on him and see how he was going. Lazlo felt a little happier, he was still thinking about his Dad often but never mentioned him, he felt like mentioning him would mean he wasn't happy with where he was and they would put him with people he didn't know and he didn't want that.

-What about your Dad?

Lazlo looked at her in surprise

-My Dad?

-You never talk about your Dad

-I miss him

-Then why don't you talk about him

-I feel like he might not love me anymore

-Do you want to see him?

Lazlo felt tears on his face, he could? He could really see him?

* * *

A couple of days passed by, Lazlo was now with the lady, she told him he could see his Dad but he had to do a couple of things first. He had to answer a couple of questions for some people and that he would get to go back home and see his Dad again. She told him that the only thing he should worry about was to be honest, and that everything else was going to be okay.

Lazlo followed her to a room, there was a couple of people around him he didn't think much of it. He looked around and felt his heart drop. He saw his Dad across the room, he was sitting a couple of meters away. He was looking in his direction, he looked worried and surprised. Lazlo didn't even think about it and ran across the room and went straight into his arms. Lazlo's Dad hesitated but since no one stopped him he hugged him and held him firmly in his arms. Lazlo was crying uncontrollably, he thought he would never see him again, which was probably what his Dad was thinking too. Lazlo heard his Dad sob, he told him that he had to be strong, and that he could do this, that everything was going to be okay. An officer came by to reluctantly separate them, Lazlo tried to compose himself but he couldn't stop crying. They tried to ask him a couple of questions but he wasn't responding and couldn't stop crying so they had to take him out of the room.

Lazlo was with the Lady again, she asked him to talk to her, he was panicking because he thought that since he couldn't answer the questions it meant that he wouldn't be able to see his Father again. She tried to help him calm down but since it wasn't working she told him

-No one wants to separate you from your Father. We all want you to be happy, but most of all safe. Since you didn't talk about him at all we all thought you didn't want to see him again, or that you didn't trust him, but I think that it's apparent now that this isn't true, so don't worry. You will see him again.

Lazlo tried to calm down, he felt it was going to be okay, and that he wanted to go live with his Dad again at all cost and told the lady that he would do anything to be able too. She told him that for now he should go back home (with Raj's Mom) and wait. When he got back he told Raj everything, how he was worried he might not see his Dad again, how he felt like it was his fault. Raj reassured him, and firmly stated, that it wasn't his fault, that his safety was the most important thing. Lazlo told himself that it was going to get better and that he should just keep hope and get through this somehow. Raj hugged him again, Lazlo felt safe and they went back upstairs to play midnight video games in secret.

* * *

A couple of weeks passed by, the lady came by to talk to Lazlo, other people too, whom he didn't know. He was honest, like they always told him to be, they asked again about the time his Father grabbed his arm, Lazlo had forgotten that he'd told them that to begin with, thought it was probably one of the reasons they were reluctant to let him see him again. He said he didn't care about it, that it happened only once and that it was an accident that his Dad apologized extensively about it that he didn't think that would happen ever again. They asked him if he thought his Dad knew about what happened, if he tried to tell him. Lazlo said he hide it as much as possible to everyone, told them the things his uncle told him. He didn't leave out anything, felt as though if he didn't explain why he did what he did, they might think he didn't trust his Dad or that he wasn't there for him which wasn't true.

-Your Father mentioned that you did say you didn't like your uncle, what were you trying to tell him at the time?

-I just wanted to spend more time with him, I didn't mind my uncle if it meant helping my Dad, I didn't want to be an inconvenience for him.

There was an officer with the lady, he seemed shocked by what Lazlo was saying. Lazlo didn't care, that was truly how he felt at that moment. The horrible things his uncle said and did, were just something that happened and now didn't matter. His uncle made him feel like his Dad wouldn't love him anymore if he told him and now that Lazlo got to see him one more time since, he knew that wasn't true, just like how Raj and his Mom weren't hating him either. Lazlo, by talking to the lady, now knew that what his uncle did wasn't right but that he could get through it, he had too, there were still things that were more important to him at that moment.

The Lady eventually told Lazlo that he could see his Dad again, live with him even but that they would go see him once in a while to see if he was okay. Lazlo didn't see any problem with that. He was packing the couple of things he had at Raj's place, thanked him and his Mom a lot, they said they would stick around if they needed anything and the their home would always be his home. The doorbell rang and Lazlo went to the door with Raj's Mom and saw his Father with the lady, he looked so happy to see him he opened his arms and Lazlo instantly went to hug him, he didn't want to let go. His Father said he was sorry, that it shouldn't have happened, and promised he would never leave him again. Lazlo couldn't help it and cried again, but this time he didn't mind, it wasn't the same.

* * *

Lazlo and his Dad moved to a different place, it was an apartment now, smaller but Lazlo was glad he never had to see his old room again. He also started having a lot of nightmares, the lady told him it was normal and that it was going the fade away at some point. He felt bad that the moment he started living with his Dad again was also the one when he started having trouble sleeping again. Lazlo's Dad told him he could wake him up anytime but Lazlo didn't want to bother him so he would just sit down in bed for a while until he literally collapsed from fatigue. His Dad noticed how tired Lazlo always looked and went to see him one night, he was sitting in his bed, not sleeping. He asked Lazlo if he had a nightmare again but he didn't respond. He stayed with him for a while, he tried to comfort him, hugged him, talked to him. Lazlo remembered how the nurse used to do the same thing when he was in hospital, Raj too.

Lazlo asked him if he could stay with him, he thought he might be having nightmares from sleeping alone, since he was used to having Raj next to him now. His Dad laid down next to him, over his covers and hummed something. Lazlo felt a little old to be sing to sleep but it felt nice to have him there, he had an arm around him and his hand on his head, it was warm and reassuring, he could hear his heartbeat.

His Dad told him that the day after they would go to the amusement park, and eat candies, that he wanted to go to a couple of places, maybe the beach when it's warmer outside. He told him about how he used to drive to faraway places with his Mom, how much she liked seeing the world and meeting new people, that they could do the same if he wanted. Lazlo loved hearing about his Mom, she always sounded like the nicest person and he wanted to be more like her.

He asked his dad to tell him more, his Dad almost never talked about her since she started getting sick. He said how happy she was when he was born, how she always wanted kids, how she said she loved him and wished him the best. She said she wanted to travel a lot and show them the world, how caring and nice people are. ''She said she couldn't wait to see you grow up''. Lazlo heard his Dad's breathing getting uneven and emotion in his voice, Lazlo said ''I'm sorry'' he didn't want to make his Dad cry, he told him ''no don't be'' held him in his arms and told him he should be the one apologizing for not being there for him. Lazlo said that wasn't true and started crying too. It was the first time he felt this close to his Dad. He knew they were crying but he felt like, everything was okay and that it was already all better, that nothing could reach him now.


	18. Familly

Maybe he should just ask him 'do you want a family' no it sounds kind of strange, 'did you think of adoption' god no he can't ask it right away like that. A couple of days had passed by now and he couldn't stop thinking about it. He didn't even know if he wanted kids himself, hell, he never thought about it, literally never thought about it.

It was about something that happened a couple of days before, he just couldn't get it out of his head ''he would be a great father''. Edward had been looking at Lazlo for a while, he was playing with the kids and Maria (Edward's brother's wife) and looked really happy and was laughing. Edward didn't know what it was at the time but he just couldn't stop looking at them, then his brother told him ''He would be a great father'' and they all laughed, except Edward. They looked like a family, that's what it was, that's what he somehow was trying to figure out, it wasn't that difficult. He just never saw Lazlo like that before, spent so much time with him never thought it could be an option.

Did Lazlo want a family, he didn't know that, they never talked about it. Maybe he never thought about it neither. But Edward couldn't stop thinking about how Lazlo was, very caring and loving in his nature, he would be a great dad. Edward felt his face becoming bright red. He was in his car getting back from work, no one was around to see. He would also always talk about his father and his childhood, maybe he was thinking about these things now because that's what he was missing at the moment, a family.

Lazlo would probably have loved to be a dad in a heterosexual relationship that he had no doubt about. Edward stopped on that thought, after all wanting a family, and wanting to adopt as a gay couple wasn't exactly the same thing. He remembered something Lazlo said, about trying to make it work with girls. Maybe he wanted a normal life to begin with, and that meant, a wife, kids … a house? Can they stay in an apartment if they want to adopt?

Edward smashed his head several times with his hand 'stop thinking about it! He doesn't even know you're thinking about it'. Edward got home, hoped Lazlo wouldn't be there yet so he could clear his mind, he wasn't. He took a cold shower, tried to occupy his mind. Sat on the couch, reading, well, trying to read. Lazlo opened the door.

-I'm home

-Eh hi

Edward looked particularly awkward, he was sitting on the couch looking tense.

-Okay what is going on

-What? Nothing…

-Yeah right …

Lazlo placed his bag near his desk and went to the kitchen. Edward followed him

-Ah wait, do you want to go out?

-out? Like restaurant?

-Yeah, didn't you want to try the fried noodle place?

-I don't feel like eating out

-They do take out

Lazlo did want to try that place, it looked good and was near their apartment. He thought it looked 'really cool' there were martial art pictures on the door and weird statues inside well… He said okay and they left, walked there. Edward thought it might clear his mind a little.

-So how was your day?

-It was okay

Lazlo sounded like he was down a little, maybe the noodles would cheer him up. It was a nice little place, it was ready in no time. They were now back home, they ate, watched an old movie they liked, Edward talked over it a bit

-Are you okay?

-You're hiding something and it's bothering me

-Oh ehm, sorry

-Should I worry?

-No

-So I'm okay

Lazlo didn't turn around once saying that. Edward was sitting on the couch with a blanket around him, he felt a little cold since coming back home. Lazlo was sitting on the floor, his back against the couch. Edward took a deep breath

-You know that other day at my parent's place? When you turned around and my brothers were laughing?

-Did they make fun of you?

Lazlo instantly turned around looking worried

-I thought something was wrong what did they tell you

-no ehm, he said he thought you would be a great dad.

Lazlo blinked, he looked down for a second

-Is that really what was bothering you?

-Yeah I can't seem to stop thinking about it

-About what

-well … do you want a family? Because I don't know we never talked about it and I'm just remembering stuff you've said

-What stuff

Edward felt really embarrassed, he didn't know how Lazlo would react.

-Well … how you wanted to make it work with girls, I thought …maybe you wanted a family you know

-Ha ha what?

-Ah! don't laugh! it's really bothering me

Edward hid his face in his hand, Lazlo sat next to him, he instantly received a pillow to his face.

-Stop smiling

-haha man he was right

-who

-Your brother Phil

-What did he say, wait don't tell me, I already have him on my blacklist anyway.

-He said he always thought you were more of a family person, and now that I think about it, I think he's right you know?

-Why would you think that, I don't even really like kids

-No but you like your brothers, also I don't think it's that you don't like kids it's more like you don't know how to act with them… Do you? …I mean do you want a family?

-I don't know

-Well me neither! Guess we still have time to think about it right?

Lazlo smiled at him, Edward pulled the blanket around him, he felt a little bit better. He was still a little worried, but now that he said it they could talk about it more naturally some other time or something. Lazlo suddenly had a serious look on his face

-what's the matter

-Did you sunburn?

-eh? Not that I know

Lazlo placed the back of his hand on Edward's cheek, then forehead. His face felt warm and looked quite red. He left for the bathroom, came back with a thermometer.

-did you really worry yourself sick

-Well, I don't know

-How long have you been thinking about this…

Lazlo looked irritated, not as in mad at him but in a 'don't do this to yourself' way. He helped Edward up, closed the TV. Helped him lay down in bed.

-Do you have to work tomorrow?

-I can go back Sunday instead and take the day off if I want

Lazlo said he would go to the drug store since they didn't have any medicine and that he would be back in no time. Edward heard him leave the front door. He looked at the time and thought it was still quite early and he could probably sleep through it. He didn't really feel it before because they were talking, but now laying down in bed he did feel like it was getting difficult to breathe and he felt cold and dizzy.

* * *

When Edward woke up Lazlo was next to him with a hand on his forehead.

-Don't you have work today?

-Edward …I just got back from work. Did you sleep all day?

Edward gave him a second look, he was wearing city clothes and the sun was up outside, he felt like he just went to sleep seconds ago. He tried to get up, he felt a little better but his body was sore, he still felt dizzy.

-Of course you are you didn't eat or drink anything today.

Edward looked at the hour, 16h58, well he really did sleep all day. Lazlo went to the kitchen to bring him a glass of water. And made Edward take the medicine he had bought the day before. Lazlo passed his hand on Edward's back, he was sweating a lot and his skin felt cold, he could see he was shivering. He helped him change his shirt and laid him down again. He called for health information to know what he should do, they told him to check his temperature frequently, make sure he was hydrated and let him sleep …normal things.

Lazlo took a chair from the kitchen and sat next to him. Edward fell asleep seconds later, he looked like he had trouble breathing. Lazlo wondered is he should do something, his temperature seemed okay before so technically, he should only wait. He was shaking his leg and fidgeting with his hands, feeling restless.

He was worrying too much. He went to the kitchen and started cooking, easy things to eat like a stew and soup. He cleaned a little to keep himself occupied, bring a glass of water and placed him next to Edward in case he woke up. Lazlo stayed in the room again for a while. Edward looked fine now, his breathing looked even, it made him a little less worried. He did look better, probably the medicine starting to make effect. He took a deep breath, thinking 'I shouldn't worry that much just for a cold…' He then thought of his Dad, and how dreadful it must have been to take care of his mother.

Maybe Edward is right, maybe he does want a family, not to take care of them when they're dying of course, but more like to live with, get to know and be there for someone as they grow up. They had a lot to give, free time, love and money. It sounds a little shallow to think of money as being an issue but at the same time it was an advantage. They did have a spare room after all…

Lazlo went in the living room where his computer was, he looked up what were the options. He was looking through the process and different requirements. He saw there were tests to pass and different kind of adoption, he remembered he had something cooking, went to see it. When he came back Edward was sitting in the living room with a book in his hands. Lazlo looked at his computer which wasn't far away and swiftly tried to close what he was looking at without Edward getting suspicious. He didn't want him to think he was actually looking this up now, he was just curious as he knew nothing about these kind of things.

-You're feeling better?

-Yeah, thanks to you

-You don't want to sleep anymore?

-No I feel fine, and I'm kind of getting sore of doing nothing. It smells nice, what are you making?

-A vegetable stew, and also chicken soup it's going to be ready soon. I can bring it to you here if you want

-No I kind of like how we always eat at the table. Sorry I made you take care of me, must be boring

-no no no, it's fine, I was just worried.

Lazlo walked to him and sat next to him, until now ha was still standing awkwardly a couple of feet away, didn't know why.

-Be careful, we still don't know if I'm contagious.

-I don't really care

Lazlo hugged him, he really should try to worry less, it was just a cold after all. Edward, still holding Lazlo in his arms, tried to lay down on the couch. They were now snuggling one on top the other, on the couch. Edward then said

-You see, it's little things like these that make me love you so much, you're always there for me, and worried, and nice, and it's just who you are, it doesn't fell forced.

-And here I am thinking I worry too much

-Ah, sorry, I mean thank you for taking care of me

-Here again with the ''sorry(s)'' and the ''thank you(s)''.

-haha, can't help it.

-For me it's kind of the opposite

-That makes me sound like an asshole

-haha no, I mean, you're always sure and confident that everything will be okay, it just feels really reassuring to live with you. It's like nothing fazes you, that I can count on you no matter what. You're reliable. I feel like the sky could be falling and you'd say something like, I don't know, the colour wasn't right anyway, and just open an umbrella.

Edward laughed. ''what are you even talking about''. It was funny to hear how Lazlo saw him. Edward thought, 'so that's what Lazlo is getting from our relationship, stability'. He always wondered what it was that Lazlo was getting from being with him. He recently started realising what he needed himself, but he always wondered about what Lazlo needed. Of course everybody needs security, love and reassurance but sometimes you need something specifically more than another and Edward was painfully aware of that, from being in very unstable and destructive relationships before. He used to think when things were going badly that he needed space, but now, with Lazlo never letting him be alone, he just stopped feeling alone. Because if he feels down and says, I need space, Lazlo will just move one centimeter away and come back seconds later to hug him because he's worried. What Edward needed, instead of space and time alone, was actually love, reassurance, affection and he never realised that before actually getting it, before living with Lazlo.

Lazlo helped him up and they went in the kitchen to eat, played cards afterwards. They wanted to invite the guys over sometimes to play poker with them, so Edward was showing him all the tricks he knew. They were having fun and Edward said

-I should get sick more often

-No please don't

-I could die happy right now

-What? No!

And Lazlo hold him in his arms, joking around 'no you can't leave me alone!' Edward responding with 'Tell my family I love them! (tries to act dead)' They were laughing and fooling around, that was a nice day.


	19. Clothes

Lazlo was in the living room folding a pile of clothes.

-Edward your clothes are all sooo soft!

Edward who was sitting nearby just said

-That's because they're of good quality

-Ah yeah that's right, you're a little more fancy than all of us

Lazlo was referring to then camp kidney crew who they saw a couple of days before.

-That somehow doesn't sound flattering.

-How do you all call Eugene again?

-Fancy pants

-Was it not meant to be flattering?

-No not at all

-Ah oups

Lazlo picked up a shirt which was particularly soft and rubbed it on his face

-Are you sniffing my clothes?!

-NO! It's just really soft…

Lazlo felt embarrassed, Edward knew he wasn't sniffing them he was poking fun at him. He could see that from the satisfied grin on Edward's face.

-We could go shopping if you want

-Sounds expensive

-I'll pay for you

Lazlo was about to protest but Edward stopped him

-No! You cook for me every day, I can pay for your clothes.

* * *

Edward said he had a couple of places where he liked going but one in particular he thought Lazlo would like. It was a small, kind of hidden place, it looked like a place to make tailor made suits. Edward said ''ah they make all kinds of things'' when Lazlo asked. When they got inside they heard someone in the back say '' just a second!'' Then a middle aged man with a pink shirt appeared. He saw Edward and looked ecstatic.

-Edward! Long-time no see *gasp* and who is that?!

Lazlo felt a little tense, he never went inside a shop like that before, it was a little intimidating.

-Oh don't be nervous with me *whispering* I have a lot of experience

Lazlo felt shivers down his spine, not of the good kind. The man was very effeminate, he made him think of Edward's brother Eugene… but worst. He wasn't really comfortable with him neither, but Edward probably never realised that. Edward told him they were buying him a new wardrobe. Lazlo thought 'we didn't say wardrobe when we talked about going here'. He felt uncomfortable and the thought he would be there for a while wasn't helping. The man went behind them as to lead Lazlo to the back room but stopped and said

-But more importantly, who IS this beautiful man!

-Boyfriend, be nice to him he's never been to a place like this before.

Lazlo felt really embarrassed now, the tailor looked at him from head to toe and made a comment to Edward about having good taste and led him to the back room and left him there. Edward sat on a chair nearby and looked through some catalogs, ignoring Lazlo trying to tell him he wanted to leave. ''No it's going to be all right you'll see''. The tailor came back with a pile of things for Lazlo to try on. ''see the fit for this one and show us this and this and this…''. Lazlo tried a couple of things on, it somehow didn't really feel right. The tailor probably saw he wasn't liking them and just went back and forth to look for other things to try on. Lazlo wasn't trying to be difficult, he never even said once he didn't like the clothes but it must have been apparent.

Having trouble finding things Lazlo would like he then told Edward ''boyfriend, help us out'' And told him to find things he though looked like him or would like him to wear. When alone with Lazlo again he started asking him questions.

-So what do you do for a living? Tell me about yourself.

Lazlo glossed over a couple of things, he said he had an interview coming up as an illustrator, but didn't tell Edward yet as he wasn't confident he would have the job. He told him about his current job as a technician (he wasn't really but that technically was his job). Lazlo didn't know what to say anymore, the other was trying to get him to say more by asking more specific questions pointing out he looked quite in shape for someone who's sitting at a desk all day. He then mentioned the circus, part time jobs, school and outdoor sports he liked.

-So you're not a tie and suit kind of guy

-No not at all, But it's not that I don't like the look of it, it just doesn't feel right …

-Oh well if you're anything like me you don't like wearing them but taking them off someone is way better am I right?

Lazlo's face became bright red, he tried to do as though he didn't hear it. Edward was always wearing a suit or dress shirt to work, a tie sometimes too. Even if it was a very corporate look, it was so natural to see him like that, he was always dressing nicely and Lazlo felt a little out of place in fancy clothes, he felt like he was wearing Edward's clothes or a costume even.

The tailor gave him a second look, he was starting to figure out what he wanted, he went in the back and gave him a couple of suits to try on. Lazlo was not convinced at all, he felt like it would be somehow even worst. Edward got back with a couple of things, it all looked somehow like things Lazlo already owned but better quality. Lazlo went in and tried the things Edward took, he all liked them, some of them had too short sleeves but the tailor said he could well, tailor them. He then tried on one of the suits, it was a softer material than what he was used to, it wasn't firm like he thought a suit would be. When he got out he went in front of the mirror. It kind of looked okay. Then Francis went around him and rolled his sleeves up '' it's meant to go like this'' He then pointed out how the suit was long in the back and said, ''if that's too much flair for you there's one shorter and a little more neutral in the pile''

-It looks good on you

It was the first time Edward stepped in to make a comment. Lazlo looked at it in the mirror, he did kind of like it. Francis looked relieved to finally find something. They found a couple of other items, with more color because 'you're everything but a boring guy' as Francis puts it. Lazlo was now changing back in his clothes, Edward paid before he got out so he wouldn't complain about it. They were now outside with their bags.

-So it wasn't that bad right?

Lazlo had a smile on his face most of the time, he looked happy about it. Edward was glad he could finally find a way to treat him to something, can't just by him noodles every month.

-Why are you so nervous around Eugene and Francis, you don't like guys like that?

-No they're nice people, it's just, they are too straight forward

-First time I heard someone say Eugene was too straight for them.

-haha no I mean, it's not just guys, think about haw Patsy acts with me, it's the same.

-I was pretty straight forward with you too you know? They're just flirting, everybody does that.

-No it's not the same …

Lazlo thought about it for a second

-It's the intention behind it, because when I talk to you, it's like you tell me that you like me, when I talk with them it's like they are saying : I'd like to sleep with you, or you're physically attractive and it's not the same.

-Ah, I think I get it, so when is your interview?

-eh?

-Ah sorry, I heard you tell Francis

Lazlo didn't want him to know he was going to an interview, he wasn't confident he would get the job and Edward was the master of building up expectations.

-You'll definitely get the job

As he thought would happen.

-I'm really nervous about it, in the E-mail they sent everyone they clearly specified to not bring anything, but then I received a phone call and they asked me, personally, to bring some work, and I don't know if that's a good sign or not.

-They are willing to spend some extra time on you, they're probably curious, did you send a portfolio?

Lazlo showed him everything he sent and the job qualifications and all.

-Don't worry about it, you'll get the job.

-But I'm literally not qualified for it

-Take my words, that doesn't mean anything, I hire and interview people all the time and you're the kind of person I would choose.

-Why?

-Because you're interesting and you have a lot of experience. Unless you were applying for the most blend and boring company to ever exist, that's a good thing. So when is it?

-Next week

* * *

Lazlo was walking around the place looking for the things he needed. He was wearing the jacket of the suit they bought a couple of days back with jeans and a casual dress shirt. He looked agitated and had a folder in his hands, probably what he chose to bring with him. Edward said he would drop him there by car and pick him up afterwards. Even if he thought Lazlo would have no problem getting the job, looking at how stressed out he was maybe he could screw it up some way or another.

-Why are you so stressed, you've been in interviews thousands of times before

-Edward it's not the same!

-How…

-A job is a job, this is not me going there saying, hey, I can do this things for you that no one wants do to, it's me saying hey, I can kind of do something that might be what you need while being next to at least 20 other person better than me! I actually want the job!

-You don't know how many people will be there

-I'm guessing

-It's probably more like 5

-Still! They put requirements for a reason you know!

-But they called you

-Edward… What if they just want to make fun of me,

-Laz …

-Like, hey bring your drawings hahaha they're horrible!

-haha Laz!

Edward was in front of him

-You don't want a tie, but do you want a belt

-You're changing the subject

-Do you want a belt?

-Okay

Edward went in the bedroom, came back and placed it on him. Lazlo was still agitated but stopped talking while he was doing that. Edward then looked at him, adjusted his collar which was all over the place. Lazlo asked if he should do something with his hair ''no it looks good''. Lazlo calmed down a bit. ''I have something for that if you want'' Edward pointed the paper folder he had in his hands, with the drawings probably just slipped in it. He went in the second bedroom and came back with a kind of briefcase, it was maybe a little thinner than a normal one, it looked like a file folder but made of leather. Lazlo placed his drawings inside, decided to add another one he was hesitant to bring and closed it.

-If we leave now I'll be there too soon.

-Then let's sit down for a while

-You really think I can make it?

-If you don't, I think you'll have a lot more opportunities you know, you'll be okay

-I've never been this stressed out for an interview before

-Because it means something to you this time.

-Yeah …

They were sitting on the couch, Lazlo was fiddling with his fingers, Edward reached to take his hand. Lazlo laughed and hugged him, He took a deep breath, he was smiling now

-Okay, I'm ready


End file.
